Was thinking the other night, couldn't sleep. lay watching the stars, thinking about bitterness and control.

At the start of our seperation, stbx didn't know what she wanted, but she didn't want me. Our initial seperation, during the week, was to try and put things back on track without the pressure of continually seeing each other. didn't last long, 11 hours or so! LOL. Nasty as hell on the phone, nice as pie when i picked the boys up, (usually because she wanted me to take her shopping, as she couldn't drive) Argued about settlement, custody, access money all the usual. To keep the boys

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

(WH Auden)

I promised myself I wouldn't let this happen again.  My heart has bled onto these pages before...

I shine a light on others' paths.  The ones who struggle in their darkness are drawn to me as they are lured by this light.  They think I am strong, self assured, content... they do not see my fragility... they do not see that I am distraught and despairing.  My own light is all that can be seen... it shines for

29 - 31 March 2009

See Part 17 for an explanation of what this is.

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Me

29 March at 21:28

Hi

Have been looking at these. Flights for half term week are, predictably, very expensive. However flying out on the Wednesday beforehand (20 May) and coming back halfway through half term (27 May) is considerably cheaper and I have found flights for £840 total for four of us. Going three days later would add about £600 to the total.

What do you think? It would mean both kids missing the final three days of school.

The flights are with Thomas Cook to Larnaca.

Wife

30 March at 09:25

I still think