Ok, I hope you can all forgive me for this I know I was stoopid.....

Mistake No 1....

Wednesday.... Sent stbx an email, asking if he was ok, we then managed to have a very grown up email conversation which actually made me feel better (so far so good)

Thursday....more emails, still pleasant and actually getting on ok, had reasonable day at work, went home.
Sitting on my own at home, got very sad/angry that we could get on for 2 days but he couldn't be that nice when I was still living at home and if it wasn't for him and his drinking and abuse, I wouldn't be living in a small bedsit

Another abusive weekend with the ex.

I've deleted my internet 'blog site. I wanted to shut off from the world. But I realised it was a place where I vented my frustration. And then I found Wikivorce had a section where I could dump my writings.

Here's my weekend:

Saturday I needed a hand guiding the car onto some ramps so I could get a piece off the exhaust to have it repaired but the only person available was the ex. I'd left our son in the front room, playing Scalextric.  She came outside with me, then before I could tell her what I needed her to do, she started moaning about him making a

Had a long chat with my dd[8 years old] yesterday and the out come is i've promised no more court hearings after the one i have on thursday[2nd child welfare hearing]. i've had enough and she is too stressed so ive made my promise to her. I know this means i will have to give up any rights to his pension but i'd rather have a happy daughter than have to fight for god knows how long.

He's not interested in dd and what this is doing to her all he wants is to keep what he sees as his. Had to get csa involved so i know we will eventually get maintance.

DD has already told him that she does'nt want