These are the things I cannot forgive

For abandoning me

When I needed you the most

For betraying the utter trust I invested in you

For throwing in the towel

Long before I did

F0r the lack of commitment

Not even putting up a fight to the end

To save our marriage the family

As if it wasn'tworth the effort

One last stab

For giving up on me

On us

On the family unit the three of us

For imposing that horrific decision on us

Fait accompli no discussion, dissention possible

The decision was thrust upon us

Without knowing the precise reasons why

You made lip service as to the whys and what ifs

But I knew they

I know I need to move on and start to think about the divorce. But I still can't get past the feeling of just not wanting to. Trying to work out why this is: I know that a part of me still loves him, but I also know that a part of me is just mourning for the marriage I wanted and dreamt of. The sort of marriage that my friends seem to all have - although I realise that what goes on behind closed doors might not be the same I imagine!

I also know that part of my reason for not wanting a divorce is not wanting to make it easy for them - I don't think I could bear it if they went off and got

Well, here I go again. He managed to make me back down . Off to joint counseling this morning.

Never slept last night, what was going to be said, He (husband) all prepared with a list of issues that we need to sort out.

I am very tearful, I know when I am there I will cry. That is the last thing I want, I don't want his pity.

I have been sitting trying to work out how I can afford to live. I only work part time. He pays for the rent for my little flat, my sanctuary.

I need to move from this area to get full time work as jobs are very limited here.That means leaving my daughter behind.

I know that