The Beginning

Hi All and thank you for making me so welcome, I feel very at home here and hope to stick with you through my journey ahead.

Some background- Have been with stbx for 19 years in total (lived together for most of that), married for 9 of them. Im just turned 37 and I have two lovely boys aged 5 and 7. My 7 yr old has Aspergers Syndrome which is a form of autism.

Ive been unhappy for many, many years and gradually the lines of communication between us became worse and worse until we just existed together and i found it increasingly difficult to talk to him about anything. I began going out more just to be away from him and had a realisation that Im not the washed up old has been that he made me feel i was. Theres was no sex, companionship or support from him and in hindsight there never really had been any of those things ever.

Having taken the decision that I had to make a break I arranged a relate session which is due in a few days time and ironically falls on our wedding anniversary. In the meantime stbx agreed to move out to put some distance between us. Things were still quite friendly until he started digging about in my personal things, checking my online activity and hes stolen one of my mobile phones and has downloaded text messages from it via bluetooth. He discovered that Id been seeing someone else and left as originally planned but devastated and with a real reason to blame me for the breakdown of our marriage. Ive denied adultery and I do feel very bad about the whole thing.

I never thought Id have a failed marriage under my belt but through the dreadful feelings I have about this Im trying to focus on the boys and my eventual happiness when this is all over.