All communication between myself and stbx has been by email. We agreed to sort finances amicably.He has solicitor and I am self repping.

Originally, he was in a hurry to get the nisi done (although I did explain to him that I wouldn't be applying for absolute until finances were sorted). His solicitors threatened me with proceedings which I ignored and did it in my own time.

I have not heard a thing from him or solicitors since nisi granted. I sent 3 emails in July asking his solicitor to acknowledge receipt of a document (to do with finances) that I had sent at his request. No reply to any of them.

At the end of July I emailed solicitor again to say that my Form E was ready to exchange and followed it up with a letter. Still no response.

Then earlier this week I sent another letter to solicitor saying that if I didn't have a response by the end of this week, then I would have to consider what action I would need to take.

I haven't had anything in the post today although I suppose it could come tomorrow.

But what if I still don't receive anything? I can understand stbx not emailing because he didn't like it when I asked him for extra money for various things. He said he couldn't do it (although I know full well he could)but I didn't bother arguing because I thought we'd be exchanging Form E very shortly and things would move along a pace.

What I can't understand though is his solicitor not replying. Is this normal? Too me it's downright rude.

I can't help wondering if they're cooking something up between them!

Anyway what do I do now? Should I email my stbx and say that as I haven't heard anything from his solicitor, I will now start up ancilliary relief proceedings? I don't want to threaten and not carry it through but on the other hand if they're going to be started up at all, I want him to do it. Why should I pay?

Any thoughts on this please?

Lady in Blue wrote:
Any thoughts on this please?

My only line of thought is that as you're self-repping they're not taking you too seriously!?

I've been asking for six months for my ex to disclose Finances regarding the Business we ran together. Even the judge asked if the accounts had been submitted (their repky to him, simply "no") I've asked again this week. He disolved our partnership when the marriage broke down, and I have a right to them. They simply ignore my requets (His Form E does not disclose the accounts or even an honest income)

You could start by ringing his sols and asking if the person is on holiday I suppose? Then address any correspondence to whomever may be dealing with their work.

You could e-mail him and ask if they are still the correct people to address in these matters?

If no AR proeedings are yet applied for: then you're in a voluntary period of exchange of information.

If you file for AR: The court will issue strict guidelines for Exchange of Form E's Questionnaires etc. If he's simply refusing to comply outside of Court rulings; then you are being shepherded into having no choice of resolving this away from that route.

Thanks Sera,

Already tried ringing solicitors incognito. Not on holiday. Also my emails were sent to him personally.

I agree, I don't want to go down AR route if I can help it, not yet anyway.

I can't see what else I can do. After all, he was in a hurry for the nisi so why not now? He knows I have written to court in case he applies for absolute without finances being sorted.

hi lady in blue,

sorry i cant answer you questions but i was wondering the same thing regarding sols and self reppers. Are we treated as we are not important? we dont matter? is it ok to have our letters etc constantly ignored?

What do we have to do to get them to acknowledge our letters? Are we allowed to tell them that we find them ignorant and rude?

What is our legal position on this, do we just carry on writing to them and being ignored, do we just carry on wasting our time?

Could someone please help?

Hi Lady ,

There is nothing practical I can suggest, except that you either 1) threaten to do or
2) do what you wanted to avoid : i.e. go down the court route.

Sometimes a letter saying in essence " look, i have written to you on x,y and z dates, you have not acknowledged receipt, even less answered, i take it from your silence that neither you nor your client want to correspond with me, i therefore see no other way to solve this matter than by the court route, if I have not heard from you by......date, i shall instigate ancillary relief proceedings "
The above is just an example - you may want to put it more formally and politely.

Keep every attempt at communicating with ex's sol, as you may wish to use it later in court to prove that they dragged out proceedings unnecessarily which, in turn, may give you leave to claim costs (but don't get your hopes up !)

Lolly,

I am self-repping and have found stbx's sol to be incredibly condescending.
They went so far as to try and bend court procedure to get their own way - luckily I have been on wiki long enough to see it coming !
The way I deal with them is simple : I write one letter containing one point. If it isn't answered, I say it again.
And again.
The ludicrous thing is, of course, that it stbx is paying for all of this, whereas I have invested the cost of a stamp in it....
Anyway, I believe there is a procedural rule - and if not actually a code, then certainly an established practice - that the sol for the opposing party is actually obliged to explain to you what is happening.
You could always address them a letter saying that s/he is neglecting his/her duties to inform you and that this attitude has been noted by you and will be used where and when necessary.

Yes, if you really wanted, you could call them ignorant and rude - however, I do not think it will get you far.
What is far more effective is to bombard them with letters and phone calls ! until someone at their office cracks and says " get that ****** woman out of my hair !"
Unfortunately, if you are dealing with a sol who thinks him/herself infinitely superior to you, that is the way to go. You have to 'shout' loudely......

Red XX

redoctober wrote:

Anyway, I believe there is a procedural rule - and if not actually a code, then certainly an established practice - that the sol for the opposing party is actually obliged to explain to you what is happening.


Is it worth complaining to the Law Society?

Oops not them, it's the other lot that Fiona always reminds us you have to complain to if it's the other sides solicitors and not your own.

Anyway redoctober, thanks for your advice.

Red,

thankyou for that, i think what makes me so angry about it all, is that i go out of my way to make sure that that ive answered everything in detail and on time for them and then get treated like a piece of s**t by them.

thankyou

Lolly