Hiya

Just starting out on the divorce process. Ex has done the classic 'trading me in for a younger model' as part of his mid life crisis. After several months of hanging around waiting for him to come to his senses I have decided its time to move on.
Probably the most simple divorce possible - no problem with grounds - adultery and all admitted so easy peasy. Our kids are 18 and 20 so past all the custody/maintenance awfulness. Ex has offered very generous (and so he should the cheating xxxx) settlement figure which we are both ok with. I want to get the divorce done with a binding consent order asap just in case he changes his mind and decides to want half the house, half my savings etc.

Anyway - the question - finally - as things are so simple I am hoping to use one of the fixed rate divorce service things advertised online (probably the one on this site) and save myself some cash. My concern is to ensure that the consent order is fully ok and binding on him as his settlement is way less than he could claim and I want to make sure he cant change his mind further down the line.

Can anyone advise me whether I would be better to pay the extra for a solicitor or whether the straightforward service will still ensure that its all sorted once and for all.

Thanks anyone who can help - this website is fantastic, you guys are all so supportive of each other.

t

The consent order you get from the Wiki fixed price divorce service is managed by a specialist family law firm who draft the order - it will go before a judge and be ratified by the court - as long as the judge rules that the order is reasonably 'fair'.

The end result (the Consent Order itself) is exactly the same order that you would get by paying more for a high street firm. And is just as legally binding.

The main criteria before opting for the fixed price option is that you and your spouse are able to reach an amicable agreement. As soon as you begin fighting over the agreement then you get diverted down a much more expensive path.

The main difference between the Wiki version and some of the other online versions is that the Wiki service is provided by qualified lawyers (who are able to offer legal advice on the 'fairness' of the order) as opposed to 'paralegals' (who cannot).

Hi there rugbyfan,
Welcome to Wiki, the place to be if you are miserable and need cheering up, angry and need to vent, dont understand legal aspects, someone will help.
Everyone here is so supportive, even though feeling downtrodden and low, they will always have time to listen and try and support you as much as possible. A lot of time and caring is put in by the Wiki team, they are brilliant.
Hope that you will be able to sort it all out amicably and not give one penny away that does not to be.
My ex ran off with another woman (previously one owner GF)
we had been married 22 years, so I know how you feel. I got through it all, moved on, remember very well the stage you are are at the moment. Our divorce was amicable thank goodness. Hope yours is too.
best wishes

Zara

Rugbyfan,
Welcome to Wikivorce. So no ruck with you two then? In many ways, that is such a good thing. Doesn't take away the hurt and betrayal bit though. But do take some comfort that in a few years time when the ear / nasal hair, the grumpy old man genes and the balding top become less than attractive to his latest conquest, it will be he that will be scouring the web for sites like this one.

As to your question on the consent order. It is very wise of you to ensure that the consent order is a true 'clean break' order, such that neitehr party can come back for more as circumstances change.

Terrible as it sounds, you need to capitise on his guilt at the moment and get it sorted as soon as you can. As you say, with hindsight and reflection, he may well change his viewpoint.

One other important consideration is that BOTH of you need to ake legal advice before signing the consent order. If that is not done properly, there is the risk of the consent order being overturned as being unfair.

If it is just a straightforward division of assets and uncontested divorce, then the online / telephone services, to provide you with a divorce and clean-break consent order will be perfectly adequate to meet your needs.

Hope it helps

Mike

Thanks everyone - this site is so helpful. Both with practical advice and a bit of emotional support - it was such a shock to find that the man I totally trusted and had been married to for 23 years was seeing someone else. And then to find she is 25!! (we are both 44). its like suddenly living in an episode of Eastenders instead of normal life. Having spent a few months in outer space it is helpful to hear from people who have been through the same stuff and survived.

Bit worried about the 'fair' aspect of the settlement. As I said he is being stupidly generous (guilt of course) and leaving me most of the assets/most of the equity in the house etc. I am giving him a lump sum to start again. His only condition is that the house goes to our children when I die and not to any supposed future partner I might have (not! - like I would go through this again). As he would be en­title­d to claim half of everything could a court rule it isnt 'fair' and stop him from doing it or is it up to us what we do.

Useful info re him getting legal advice - will make him see someone even if I have to pay for it myself!

Hi there again,
My ex is still with his (previously one owner girlfriend) has been since he left in 1998. He has since had two little girls. His GF was about 30 I think when he met her he was 42. All done and dusted forgotten, have met him on many occasions, one my Son's wedding, we are fine.
But...... i do snigger sometimes when I think that when he gets to about 65-70 he wil have a pre-menopausal girlfriend and two teenage daughters with hormones waiting to EXPLODE. that keeps me going. I am married again and very happy, just waiting to get rid of his ex of 5 years.
long story, send you into a coma!!!!
But I am glad you like the site

Just read post that last bit did not sound quite as it should .......

just waiting for my husband's ex-wife to get her claws out of us regarding the sale of the fmh. She left him 5 years ago and he had to look after 2 children. Which he has,, with not one penny help from her. She is raging because I came along and ruined her bullying of her ex-husband into everything.
She is not a very nice lady to say the least
have offer on house so should be over soon. x