Hi I am a new member to this forum, and i would like to know if anyone could give me advice on the following issue.
I have split up with my ex partner (never married) and i,m applying for residence of my daughter age 6. My ex has a daughter age 10 from previous relationship. Both of the children have been living with me since May, but the oldest child is back living with her mum.
Social services believe i have a good case against my ex for the way she mis handles the children with verbal abuse etc. And her constant alcohol and drugs misuse. Social services and the school have been involved since the feb.

Can anyone give me advice on how the courts would view splitting up the children.
I would encourage my ex to continue to have contact with age 6 so they can all spend time together.
I am also thinking of representing myself, my ex will get legal aid. any advice on self representing would be helpfull

Please please help
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Welcome to Wiki

I cannot advise you but just wanted to say hello as you posted this earlier.

Someone will be along soon to give you some advise.

Keep posting and have a look around the forums and you will be able to use other people's experience.

xx

Andy C wrote:
Hi I am a new member to this forum, and i would like to know if anyone could give me advice on the following issue.
I have split up with my ex partner (never married) and i,m applying for residence of my daughter age 6. My ex has a daughter age 10 from previous relationship. Both of the children have been living with me since May, but the oldest child is back living with her mum.
Social services believe i have a good case against my ex for the way she mis handles the children with verbal abuse etc. And her constant alcohol and drugs misuse. Social services and the school have been involved since the feb.

Can anyone give me advice on how the courts would view splitting up the children.
I would encourage my ex to continue to have contact with age 6 so they can all spend time together.
I am also thinking of representing myself, my ex will get legal aid. any advice on self representing would be helpfull

Please please help
Please note, although no boardcode and smiley buttons are shown, they are still useable

I had 2 boys with my soon-to-be ex wife and she had a child of her own. I brought them up with little help from her as she was and still is, a crack cocaine addict plus an alcoholic.

As I have no parental responsibility for a child that is not mine, I was told to forget it by everyone concerned. All I can do is pass on this information to you.

I'm watching this thread

Hi Andy

I would say this really depends on how the split comes about and how the decision is made about your child comming to live with you. Is your daughter currently living with you as part of an agreement with social services or has your ex partner decided this is in her best interests?

I take it you are applying for a residence order to obtain parental responsibility and secure the place of residence for your daughter.

Would you be prepared to look after the 10 year old as well if that were an option? You have obviously been in her life a long time and although you might not be the father you have probably acted as one.

If social services have concerns this would weigh in your favour. It does seem very sad that the girls would be separated so if that is going to happen I would try and put together a good contact plan so they can keep their relationship. Do you know what your daughters wishes and feelings are as the court has a duty to listen to those as well?

fattabby wrote:
Hi Andy

I would say this really depends on how the split comes about and how the decision is made about your child comming to live with you. Is your daughter currently living with you as part of an agreement with social services or has your ex partner decided this is in her best interests?

I take it you are applying for a residence order to obtain parental responsibility and secure the place of residence for your daughter.

Would you be prepared to look after the 10 year old as well if that were an option? You have obviously been in her life a long time and although you might not be the father you have probably acted as one.

If social services have concerns this would weigh in your favour. It does seem very sad that the girls would be separated so if that is going to happen I would try and put together a good contact plan so they can keep their relationship. Do you know what your daughters wishes and feelings are as the court has a duty to listen to those as well?

Hi Fattabby . . . and thanks

Yes my daughter is living with me cause of arrangement wit SS and my ex. The 10 yr old was also living with me but she was so so unhappy at doing so she desperatly wanted to go back to her mum, and SS agreed with this. As for my daughter she is extremly happy living with me but has mixed feelings about her mother. She has settled very well with my new partner and my partners children who she now reffers to them as her own sister and brother. To be honest I get the impression from my daughter that she knows whats bet for her. Do you have any good sugestions of a contact plan.

Thanks again
AC

Depending on how practical it is - I would suggest phone contact twice a week and a face to face every other weekend. Is your ex likely to be awkward about the arrangement if you succeed in your residence order application? If so she may frustrate contact which there is little you can do about.

If the 10 yr old is struggling to that degree with being away from her mum and her mother has problems, she is likely to be in for a difficult time therefore you will have to monitor how much of that is filtered back to your daughter. It doesnt sound like your daughter has the same degree of attachment to her mother as her sister has or maybe she has an equally strong attachment to you and can comfortably reside with you. With all these arrangements you have to be willing to be flexible and adapt depending on changing circumstances, the courts usually like to see reasonableness ­base­d on whats in the best interests of the children. For a 6 yr old - stability and consistency is the better plan. I hope it goes well for you all.