Hi

Was just wondering if you need to start proceedings for divorce before you can try mediation over finances .
I am unsure about starting the ball rolling myself .
Can we just sort finances and then sort divorce stuff when ready?

thanks for any advice

shiny

Hi Shiny,

I decided to do mediation before starting proceedings.
We have just about reached agreement and the mediation lawyer has also help us with the divorce petition (but there is some things she is not allowed to do since it is a conflict of interest).

Beware, not all lawyers like mediators and so if you go down the mediation route, you may then need advice on selecting a suitable lawyer - if you have to go that way.

so far it has worked for us.

x

Dadsrus

They say it's always worth trying mediation - probably earlier the better. It didn't work in my case - FXW far too adversarial and conflict-driven, and we kept on going with it far past it's sell-by date (10 sessions or so).

So my suggestions are:-
(1) test out mediators first and find one you think will be helpful - they vary in quality and approach.
(2) if it looks like it isn't going to work call it quits after a few sessions and go another route.

Hope it does work though.

tmb

Hi there

thanks for that , so we could go to mediation first and then if we reach agreement sort out divorce petition and consent order?

How many sessions does it normally take? and how much did it cost you?
How did they deal with financial disclosure?

sorry to ask all this , just trying to decide what to do next.

thanks for any help

shiny

hi shiny,

as tmb says they are all differnt - so it is important you find one that is alligned with what you are trying to achieve.

I ran a mile from a mediator attached to a big law firm and found an independent (who is lovely) - there is a website which lists them by region.

It is costing us around £200 an hour. We have done 4 sessions of 1 and a half to 2 hours.

As we have gone through the process, we have changed our minds a couple of times.

You have to be quite close to do mediation

Guys tend to think they have a lot to lose and so may baulk at giving up assets without a fight - which is not the spirit of mediation.

Hope this helps

My solicitor recommended mediation and referred me to one she liked.

It cost us 170 pounds an hour. Then another 170 to get it all written up and sent to the solicitors.

Our mediator has legal training, and was able to tell us what the courts would or would not agree to.

Hi Shiny

Yes you can go to mediation first and then do the petition and consent order.

The mediation service should give you disclosure forms, if not use Forms E which you can download in the resources section.

As for cost, depends where you go - you can google family mediation and look for a service near you.

In terms of the amount of sessions, that depends on how quickly you and he get through it - but I would caution that you are careful not to flog a dead horse - if progress isnt being made in each session you need to consider if mediation is working for you.

Amanda