I am not sure what is to be gained by mediation.?? Surely we could sort it ourseleves( if he would talk!!) I don't understand how to deal with the pensions but surely we could do a 50/50 split on all joint assets? Can we each keep our own personal accounts or do they get split 50/50 too? We also have a property with a mortgage abroad which will have to be sold but may take some time. How do we deal with this? Also what happens if he refuses to drop the price of the house in England that we are selling? Sorry = lots of questions!

As I understand it, mediation is there to facilitate sorting out finances and other practicalities between divorcing couples.

They aren't there to tell you what to do. If you and your partner can come to an agreement it will be easier and cheaper. If you can't, I think you are headed down the road to court appearances.

If your partner is finding it difficult to talk to you and vice versa, you can both talk separately to the mediator.

My stbx and I have not found it easy to speak to each other. (We're ok on the shouting and arguing though!)

With the assistance of a skilled, patient, and sometimes exasperated mediator we are slowly progressing towards establishing the facts and possible solutions. Even though it is painful, it's giving us some chance of finding the best solution for us, which has to be better than a judicially imposed settlement.

As the considerations at divorce feel like all one's life decisions rolled into a single settlement - i.e. it's mega complex, at a time when you are at your weakest emotionally, having a mediator to guide and mentor you may be strongly beneficial.

Best wishes

Kalamari

Thank you for that - the pensions seem the biggest problem. I will think it over. I am just getting concerned over the cost of things!

My ex told me what he wanted before he would leave so I organised it, we couldn't keep living together.

when I told the sol she said "we are not here just to agree what you two do" and sent us to mediation. Although i'm on legal aid I agreed to pay half. It ended up costing me nearly £300 for 2 sessions for them to put together what we had agreed and send it to sols.

What a waste of money! Oh well, i'll just add it to the listed of wasted things.

Thank you for that! I feel itmay be a waste of money. Wish I could get mine to leave!!

Hi dreaming

It was a very last resort and i had to rely on family to bale me out financially but I was fed up with being told that he wanted to smash my face in and wanted to throw me down the stairs but as I "looked pregnant" he didn't want to be done for manslaughter!

and this was the man I had spent my entire adult life with.. good riddence to bad rubbish

You might need mediation, we didn't have much to fight for. Debts had taken care of that.

Keep your chin up

L