Hi
I am not sure what is best to do- medation, divorce or financial settlement.
My soon-to-be-ex is being very generous with what he is willing to keep paying for and also the % of our house he is willing to let me keep. I would like this in writing as a legally binding agreement for my piece of mind. we both agree how things should be shared, should we go to mediation or straight to divorce do you think?
Jessie

Mediation will help you reach an agreement. It sounds as if you have an agreement so this needs to be formalised. I suspect this can only really be done by a solicitor and if you want a full divorce rather than separation then you will have to go through the courts anyway to get the legalities complete.
Bert

Thanks Bert.
If I go to a solicitor and petition for divorce does the financial stuff all get done at the same time?
Forgive my ignorance but I am ratehr new to this.
Jessie

Jessie,
Do both in parallel. Mediation is agreeing the financial split with a third party to guide you on what is fair and reasonable.

The results of mediation can be incorporated in the consent order that will be required after the decree nisi , but before the decree absolute.

If he is being generous now, nail him. Time changes people. Circumstances change. You have to think about your children's needs and the fact that he has vastly better earning potential to yourself in the longer term.

Don't look at it as you being greedy or selfish, but just doing the best for your children and yourself.

The consent order after the nisi only becomes binding after the decree absolute. So you need to be doing divorce as well, to ensure the agreement is binding.

Hope it helps,

Mike

ps Did you give yourself a treat yet?

That is really helpful, thanks
I am getting together all the paper work I think I will need and reckon now, following your advice, I would be better seeing my solicitor and starting the divorce ball rolling. I will also book us in to see a medition service and agree that too. I have a sinking feeling regarding how much this is all going to cost and no treats for me yet, still feeling a bit down hearted but determined to bounce back some time soon(ish)
Jessie

As i got legal aid mediation was free (no attachment to house, nothing) and arranged by the solicitor. It saves a fortune as you can then just get sol to check it over and make sure you got ok deal and then stamped and done over

Oops lack of grammer makes that read badly, I didn't mean done over I meant done, over as in done and finished lol!