Redoctober wrote in a previous post "As long as you do not feel comfortable going to mediation, cancel the session(s)".

My stbx solicitor keeps harping on about mediation even though I made it quite clear months ago that I did not want to do it.

I am trying to sort finances out as amicably as possible but if communications break down (which appears to be the case now) before we even start negotiating,then we will end up in court (I am self repping).

My question is this,

Will it reflect badly on me that I have refused to go to mediation (although tried to sort out amicably by email/letter)?

Can anyone please answer this question?

Thanks

Hi lady in blue,

You have a choice here : you either give in to xtb's sol and attend mediation. You can do this with an attitude of 'this will never go anywhere' or 'let's see if anything positive comes out'. That is totally up to you.
Or you continue to make it quite clear to the other side why you refuse mediation. Do keep all that correspondence so that later, should the question come up, you can show that you have acted reasonably at all times.

Mediation is not a must, and neither is attending mediation sessions seen as caving in to the other side. The only thing the other side could do is try to use somebody's reluctance to attend these sessions by painting them as 'unreasonable' or 'refusing to engage in the process'. If you can refute such possible accusations from the start ( and solicitors/barristers in court are very fond of the odd bit of character assassination....), then there is nothing they can bring up against you.

In the global scheme of things and if the case comes before court, as I said, mediation and its attendance or not counts for very little.

The reason I advised the other poster to cancel mediation sessions is because they, unlike you, were not at all clear about their financial situation and any possible offer.

Hope that clarifies things
Red XX

hi lady in blue...cant answer your question...but i went to mediation appointment full of hope to get things settled...i waited for husband to go so we could then go together..i waited..and i waited...then eventually got a letter from mediation saying it had failed as husband had not attended...it does not seem to of affected the court hearing at all ..hope this helps