I was married for 6 years and separated from my wife 9 months ago.We have 2 children, 6 and 4 and they reside with my ex.I am an estate agent and have my own business and things were very good until a few months ago.After our separation I rented a small house for my wife and the kids which cost me a lot of money but two months ago I could no longer afford this and she moved back with the children to live with her mother.I could not continue to pay her spousal maintenance in view of the dire property industry and have been advised to pay her child maintenance only otherwise I will be in financial trouble. Our matrimonial house was sold in 2007 and the net proceeds are now sitting in a joint bank account which can only be accessed with 2 signatures.I have obtained a decree nisi but the maintenance saga continues.My ex wife has instructed a solicitor which she cannot afford, this has got her no-where and now her solicitor has advised both parties to fill in Form E "in order that she will be in a better position to come to an agreement, which will not happen.her lawyer has suggested that each party withdraw £6000 from the joint account to pay for continuing legal expenses.I have said no on the grounds that she will continue to fight me until all the joint money is exhausted.I know she will probably go for ancillary relief which could cost £25k . I am very unwilling to fill in form E which is very lengthy and involves a lot of work because of what will probably happen.My ex will not get a job now and she has no intention of doing so in the future.Any ideas please how I should proceed.

Er - well, it seems to me that perhaps you may be complicating this unnecessarily.

You have to pay child maintenance, this is a statutory obligation and you can work out how much you have to pay by using the CSA calculator.

If you cannot afford to pay spousal maintenance ( SM ) then, quite simply, you can't get blood out of a stone. If you can't afford to pay then she has to have recourse to benefits.

But hopefully the bad times will not last and your fortunes may improve. So perhaps what you might get is a nominal order ( £1 a year ) which you don't actually pay, but it's still a maintenance order and therefore can be varied if your finances take a turn for the better.

But if you don't fill a Form E - how can you convince your wife that you can't afford to pay her ?

What, if I may ask, do you mean by ' her solicitor had advised both parties ' ? Her solicitor can't act for both of you. That would be unprofessional and a good many other things besides.

Are you still on sufficiently good terms with your wife to have a few quiet words in her ear and tell her that the way you are going, there may not be much left to argue about ? Are you so much at loggerheads that it is impossible for you to reach agreement ? I don't know how much money is in the kitty but is it worth spending £25K over it ?

You really mustn't take advice or instructions from her solicitor. Your interest and that of your wife are opposite and no solicitor can represent both sides. With a bit of goodwill you should be able to sort this out far more cheaply than that.

Sorry to be a bit blunt, but this looks to me like a straightforward case and spending £25K on it is disproportionate and only benefits lawyers.

Mike