Hi

After 11 years, my wife has decided our marriage is now over as it seems we've just grown apart (her view, not mine).

I'm on good money (£35k), but have always been terrible with money, so have large debts in addition to the mortgage. I won't be able to afford my own place and pay the existing mortage, bills etc and she currently only works 5/6 hours a week. Obviously, she's going to have to look for more work, though this would need to fit in around our two children being dropped off and picked up from school, so options may be limited.

Will she be able to claim benefits if we just seperate, or would we need to be getting divorced before that becomes an option? If possible, I'd rather not get divorced at the moment as we don't have the money for the solicitors and it's a (fairly) amicable split.

Many thanks

If she is on low pay and continues as primary carer for your children, she should be in with a good shout of receiving Legal Help at the solicitors.

I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news but don't shoot the messenger.

On these figures, you will have to pay child support at 20% of your net income.

It is perfectly possible there will be an order for spousal maintenance on top of that.

There is also the issue of what happens to the house. The fact that you have children means their need for a home, and therefore indirectly the need of the primary carer, will take priority.

Yes, it is possible that she could apply for interim maintenance payments pending a divorce. And as if that wasn't enough you have the problem with your debts.

I think you need legal advice, sir, and you need debt advice too by the looks of it. If you look up a Thread ' Your opinion ' you will see that I gave the enquirer some general information about the methodology of debt advice.

Try a CAB for the debt advice and don't wait till after Christmas or they will be booked solid. You may be able to find a solicitor who will offer 30 minutes' free advice. If you do this, please make sure you give him/her some basic information, such as

1. Length of marriage
2. Ages of the parties
3. How many children, and their ages
4. Information about your income and your wife's, as far as you know it.
5. The approximate value of the family home and any mortgage.
6. Information about your other assets, savings, insurance, etc
7. Any disabilities in the family
8. Any pension en­title­ments.

Sorrrreeeee to be sooooooo negative. But that's the way it looks to me.

Mike

Thanks for your feedback Mike, I appreciate your frankness. We're going to talk things through this weekend, so I'll keep your advice in mind.

Ok, it seems that the seperation is due to happen at any time now - just waiting for her to find a suitable place to rent. She's sorting out the benefits she can claim and we've agreed on how much I'll pay and how to split savings etc. As we're still not sure how things will work out in the next couple of months, we're not yet thinking about divorce, but she would like to get the financial side of things agreed 'legally'. From the info I've found so far, any verbal or informal agreements can be over-ruled by the courts at a later date - does anyone know if an arrangement made now can be made which the courts won't be able to over-rule in the future, and if so, how we'd go about it?

Thanks

I think the only sure way is consent/court order during the divorce proceedings if you want to have it watertight.

Can somebody explain to me how somebody can expect maintenance for life. They are getting half the pension and then they want maintenance on top of that. Shouldn't the pension provide for somebody beyond 65 without the need to sponge off an ex husbang.