Hi, am new here... seem to be getting more lonely and depressed everyday, so am hoping to just get all of this off my chest before I implode.

My divorce is almost final... When I found out that he cheated the first time, he claimed it was over and stupidly i forgave him for the sake of the kids. Little did I know that he never left her and the affair lasted 3 years before he asked for a divorce.

He's only 35, at the prime of his life with that young bitch.

Here I am... 45 years old, divorced for the 2nd time and with 3 kids by 2 different men.

I don't think its fair... that he gets to start afresh and I'm at a dead end.

Help... will i ever find happiness with someone?

just_me,

Welcome to wiki.No need to be lonely any more - there are lots of us here who know exactly how you are feeling.
If you need to be cheered up, pop into chat - it can be a bit lively but lots of peeps to talk to, laugh with .. and even ask serious questions if you need to.
Then you can blog the way you feel - many people find that halps ... and there's the forum for other questions, thoughts etc.

On thing you said struck me in particular:

Help... will i ever find happiness with someone?

Hunny, you need to be happy with yourself first .... you'll get there .

Hadenoughnow

i'm the same i have had four children with two different men and i am the one still standing at the school gates waiting for my youngest child who is only 10 years old. If you have read my blog you will see what i am talking about. I am 52 years old now and my husband has moved in with some woman of 50 and she is a grandmother of two and he is quite happily to live with her for the rest of his life. I am still here at my age trying to get along with income support because of my youngest child and he is allowed to move on with just him and no dependants. I know it isn't fair and the law is an ass but at the end of the day i have a little person that relys on me no matter what and i am trying to build my life accordingly. You should do the same my moto has always been"don't let the buggers get you down" and i strongly believe "what goes arround comes around" Believe me we are better than this and we will survive no matter what. Good luckxxxx

Hi there, your story sounds just like mine. I'm divorcing my hubby of 16 years because he had an affair with a woman 12 years younger. I forgave him when i found out as he told me he had dumped her & was truly sorry. 6 months later i found out he was still seeing her & had never broke up with her at all. I was devastated & shocked at his secret other life, all the lies & promises he gave me!
Now, 18 months down the line he has realised she is a drunk & a tramp (his own words) and wants to make it up to me but i'm not having any of it!
I'm 51 but i'm pretty sure life isnt over for me yet and i WILL meet someone new that can make me happy again. But for the last 6 months i've worked on myself, regaining my confidence & coming to terms with whats happened. Ive started dating again & life feels ok again for me, it will for you too one day.
Cindy

Hi Just me. Of course you will get a new start. You have started it already. I am 53 now and I am having a great time. You dont need to be with someone to be happy. Thats what I found out and it took me 3 bites at the apple to find that out. Sure it gets lonely now and again but there are lots of plusses to being single. And the single comunity is massive.

Its common to think the other half is better off than you. Life is not like that however. There are always upsides and down sides to everything. Life evens things out. Have you ever wondered why when you get some extra money a bill comes in for the exact amount? Eggactly. Thats life!!

But in time you will see this as a positive thing that has happened to you. I do. My sep and div was one of the best things that has ever happned to me. I would not have met all the wonderful people I now know. Glass is half full not half empty. Turn it on its head. C

snap.
twice divorced and 5 kids. 2 different dads.
find happiness in and with yourself.
there is a saying-love yourself, love another.
i was bitter when i first broke up with my husband, thinking he has it so easy etc.
you get past this.
concentrate on yourself and repairing you first.
i am 40 this year and i am having the best time of my life,lol.
wish i had got out sooner.
i have really started to enjoy life in all aspects.
i am not perfect, but im good enough.
good luck with your healing.x

Hi just_me

45 is young and sure you'll find happiness again. But don't go looking for it just enjoy your time on your own at the moment and it will find you. Try not to look at changing the past cos you can't. But you can do anything you want for your future

Take care
BRM