Yes I did suspect but with plausible excuses for being late, out with the girls etc. I couldn't actually pinpoint anything and as life and holidays appeared to be normal the suspicions were backgrounded. It was only after she left that the huge jigsaw we have to deal with comes to light. She even had her staff covering for her. One in particular WILL feel the force of my revenge because she also lied cheated and treated me like dirt. And Ive got something up my sleve for when I need to use it. No not violence !!!! Same goes for one of her friends. Her attitude was 'screw him for every penny you can get out of him'' Could be a lovely shock when I prove her husband was one of the men !!!! Hard part . Keeping Stum for time being !!!

Polar,
Well somebody is in for a surprise:
Do you have absolute proof?
zara

At the time I did not suspect a thing. Looking back I had admitted to myself that we had problems and were distant with each other, but foolishly thought it was a phase that we were going through and that we would be alright.

He started being really moody with me and everything I did and said was wrong. I got more and more unhappy. In the end I made him tell me what was wrong - even then I had no inklings or idea that he would do this as he had always been to vehemently against affairs and fathers leaving children.

He just blurted it out when I said 'if you have any respect for me you will tell me why you are being like this'

I was amazed and gobsmacked and felt like the biggest idiot in the village not to have known or suspected. Then things all fell into place - saying he was going to the next town to talk about our mortgage when there was a branch in the town we lived in etc... He is a copper so had plenty of opportunity 'working late' and being 'on call' which I never twigged.

Urgh. Hell on earth, its almost two years since then and I still remember that feeling like it was last week.
And although I still have the divorce to get through and non stop crap from him about me moving on, I am in a way glad that it happened now and not in another 5 or 10 years.

He cant move on now and spends his life being bitter and twisted and blaming me. He is hell bent on stopping me from moving on and has blanked his part in our marriage failure. I am getting on and moving up all the time. His loss and although I do have some trust issues I will not ever make the same mistakes again. Communicate but realise when there is only one person trying to make the marriage work.

Hi mresnomore
Glad you are moving on, that is great, he obviously cannot stand it. Perhaps it has gone a ikcle lickle wrong for him, and thinks that you should be the one all bitter and twisted!! Good for you.
Trust is a problem, I control myself a lot now, but it is just amazing how being cheated on changes your aspect on silly little things. hey ho.
It is truely eye opening, how so many of the stores on Wiki mirror each other. It is almost like that there are guidelines that have to be followed in the 'mannual' for the cheater.
you take care and hooray for you
zara

Hi Cindy. Yep but Im not being malicious as I will only use it as a bargaining point. As we are both posting on another post at the moment I have advised to keep notes as tiny things are often of great significance. Oh the thing I have up my sleave? Its tiny. Normally would be overlooked by others. Without going into details it is so small that under the normal run of events nobody would notice it even on close inspection. In reality if it ever came out it would cause unimaginable chaos . As for the 'screw him wife'. Well yes time is on my side on that one. My STBX has already pulled the wool over one wife's eyes by taking her out to lunch a couple of times...that caused ructions amongst the wives of those who knew. They stopped trusting her. And guess who one of these was? Yes the wife of the other guy I suspect. Oh dear.
I may not have to wait until bonfire night to see fireworks !!! PS it wont be me who lets the cat out of the bag either. Thats when you really find out who supports you. Legally I cant do it. But there is nothing to stop them !!!!

Ooh how intriguing. You will have to keep me posted on that. Nothing like nasty people getting their just deserts.

ps Think you have mixed me and Cindygirl, she has same picture. Must admit sometimes when I go through a post, I think, 'I cant remember writing that'!!!!


Take care and keep me posted.

zara

OOPS Sorry. Same pic but as we all like to remain Anon because of our situations fully understandable. Had to change my screen name once already !! Take care Polar