How can you people say there is life after divorce?

I'm sorry but you have got to be kidding me!

Hi Soupdragon

6 months ago, I would have agreed with you. Life as you have known it is coming to an end, but that doesn not mean that life has come to an end.
When you first start out on this journey, it is impossible to see anything other than how you feel right now, how can anything ever feel good again? When the descion to end your marriage is taken out of your hands, it is very hard to understand why, and you may spend a lot of time seeking answers to your questions.
Each day will bring new emotions for you, and the end of a marriage is a greiving proccess, most experience 7 stages : breakdown, shock, anger,pain, hatered, grief and finally acceptance. Working through each stage is painfull, I wont kid you on that one, but as you leave one stage and reach another, it is proof that you are working though this.
My advice would be this; take each day one at a time, you will have bad days, indifferent days and some good days. Enjoy the good days, bear with the indifferent ones, and just try to cope with the bad days the best you can. Oneof the tings that helpedme the most when my x2b left was being here, reading other's blogs, and seeing how they coped, and were moving on in life. Talking to others in the chatroom was agreat source of comfort, being with others who understood how I was feeling because they themselves had been there and were able to say the right words to help,notjust a multitude of meaninless platitudes. Knowing that others had coped and were begining to move on was a source of inspiration to me, if they coul ddeal with this, then so could I.
Talking. I cant stress enough how important this is! Please talk to others, it helps to release your emotions and stops them being bottled up, which isnt healthy (I know, cos I am guilty of this). Prehaps you could talk to your GP, tell him/her how you are feeling. there are many different options to coping with the stress and trauma of seperation, and your GP will be able to talk through those with you.
One day at a time, Soupy, baby steps before you can run. There is life after divorce, how you choose to live it is up to you, but its not the end of your life, just the life you have known before.

take care

Ruby x

Hi soup

Me and you had a few messages to and from each other, you feel you have noone to talk to, you can send me a message any time.I agree with Ruby i think you should go and see your gp, your not sleeping either which makes you feel even worse.I started out on this journey nearly 3 years ago, had many ups and downs along the way.If there was'nt life after divore i would'nt be sitting here today.It's still very new to you and divorce is one of the hardest things in life to get through with so many emotions that go with it, but you have found a good place here we all be a shoulder for you to lean on.

its so important to not look to far ahead when in this maze.Looking too far forward is a recepie for beating yourself up.you have to be kind to yourself as kind as you would be to a small child that you found in the middle of the road who had been run over.Baby steps really are the way to go.Her I am this morning thinking this is all my fault if i hadn't done this or that...it is so destructive.I am21 months into this unwanted pain and misery.I too find it so difficult to see where this life after divorce is.aS THEY SAY IN STAR TREK THERES LIFE jIM ...BUT ITS NOT AS WE KNOW IT.
keep plodding hourly and by the minute if it feels so bad.The worse thing to do is think about them and their wonderful new life.I fight with that on a daily basis.Keep going girl chunk it down into baby steps.We are all here to love and hug each other when the chips are really down or at any other time really.

Soupy

I left my hubby back in 2003...5 years down the line I have been there, done that and got the divorce T shirt (there may even be some scars somewhere from the battles) .

You do come out the other end...you feel like you have been through the mincer and at times feel like you simply cant go on - but you do go on, you do get through it and eventually you see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter and brighter as you get closer to it.

Be kind to yourself Soupy and keep venting - it is far better out than in.

If you ever want a chat you know where we all are.

Amanda

I have already said this before.

I only have one life.

Do the math, take it away from me and what do I have left?

I do however admire the support you offer and I am sure it is of solace to many!

Ok, look at it this way, life is like a book, a long book.

Books have chapters; infancy, childhood, adolescence, starting out in the world alone, then like us; marriage and then divorce.

But this is not the end of the book, just another chapter drawing to a close.

Life during and after divorce are just the next chapters in the book; who knows there may still be many more chapters waiting to be written.

In time you will look forward to reading (living) them.

xx Sarah xx