Hi,

This is the first time I have ever done anything like this so please forgive me if I mess up (again).

I am so mixed up at the moment and rally don't know what to do and ending it all has become a very real option.

After 21 years together my partner has left me, she told me that she has been unhappy for at least 10 years but did not have the courage to leave.

Several years ago I had a breakdown and have never fully recovered.

The world has been a scary place for me for a long time now and I have modified my life to cope.

This has obviously caused my partner a great deal of pain and I feel so bad that I was so busy trying to keep myself together that I have not seen this.

She has been gone for 5 weeks now and I can feel myself slipping into the abyss by the day.

I am sad and in pain, I am frightened and loan.

I truly feel that I have come to the end.

Hello

First of all welcome to Wiki.
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation, but you'll find so many good people on here it'll make such a difference to you I promise.

Have you had a read through some of the blogs yet? There are quite a few people in the same boat as you and it might help to read about how they have coped. You are most definitely not alone.

Hope that helps.

MC

Hi Mc,

Thanks so much for your reply, it is good to know that someone is out there.

I have been fudging around a bit but am still finding my way.

I just felt the need to reach out because I feel so wretched at the moment.

Hi thom

welcome to wiki - have a hug from me

i noticed you in chat yesterday i said hello but guessed it was a bad time for you..

i have been there, thinking about ending it all...really, wine, pills and photo's of my ex all around me, ready to finish it off...even sent my ex a txt bascially confirming what i was was going to do...but something stopped me...i stopped me...why ? because im worth more..

and you are too...

you've come to the right place...theres alot of people here, going through it or coming out the other end, tell you one thing though, alot of kindness and love is shared amongst wiki...and this is what will see you through..

next time your in chat, say hello, in your own time of course when your ready, just be aware your not alone and dont have to go through it on your own.

take care
Daisy

xx

p.s please dont do anything rash, you would regret it...

Hi

Totally agree with Daisy, we've all been there, go there regularly, but you must come back and little by little it gets better. Your situation is very personal to you but you can see from the posts that there are tons of people in the same sort of boat (holed and sinking but paddling fast). Welcome to our world and keep on writing and you will soon feel that there is always someone there to help and experts to advise as you struggle through the process of separation.

Keen on going.

thom,

you are so much stronger than u think.

i think almost everyone on wiki has had these thoughts in the begining.

i took mine a stage further than though and ended up in a coma for 3 days, and on suicide watch for six months.

but im a fighter and so r u, u just need to beleive in yourself.

((((((((((((((thom))))))))))

come in chat, will lift your spirit, and make u feel better.

much love
mish
xxx

Thank you all so much for your support.

I am sorry, I am not used to opening up and find it difficult but will try to keep posting.

Just trying to figure it out at the moment so If I don't respond to people in the right way please forgive me, I am not at my sharpest at the moment.

Thomo.