hi ..ive seen several post on here saying that people get nasty texts and the like from divorcing partners...my husband is doing alot of his paperwork himself..he has been adding nasty things about me on his forms..i have up until now just ignored these as sour grapes...but as court draws ever nearer i wondered if the judge will take notice of these (largely untrue or exaggerated )comments...will they reflect badly on me or will he look unprofessional and bitter..???? i am the one divorcing him so it seems strange to me that if i was all the things he says ..why did he stay married to me..???

Hallo

So sorry you and others are receiving this abusive stuff.

I don't know what will happen, but I can tell you that I have a friend V whose husband C decided to self-rep after his sol told him he would have to give V at least half the value of the house. C clearly thought he knew better.
At the first hearing he gave the judge a 34-page handwritten letter of vitriol about V. The judge said it was immaterial to the case and refused to read it. C then told V's sol that their children (all adult and all still living in marital home) had a right to read it. So V told the children about the letter and all the children declined to read it (who wants to read their Dad's slagging off of their Mum!). One of her sons said "tell Dad he can shove it up his ****")

I don't know the grounds of your divorce but I think the courts are really just interested in divvying up the financial assets. I would imagine the judge would just see the nasty comments as exactly that.

As you initiated the divorce I expect your stbx is merely being aggressive as he feels on the defensive. I can't believe how pathetic men become when a marriage ends. Mine, who I wanted to leave because he was so bad-tempered with me and the kids, didn't go till he'd found another mug to do his washing etc. Now he tells me we broke up because I was so horrible to him. Yeah, right, cooking his meals and doing his laundry and raising our children alone while he was off partying with someone else!

" In deciding financial issues the Courts are not concerned at all about who was to blame and simply do not want to know about the conduct of either party during the marriage unless the circumstances are wholly exceptional."

From: http://www.terry.co.uk/men_div1.html

Hi,

sort of following on from the orig post I'm pet in divorce right now and soon to be ex has also filed a petition.

Just to keep things moving I am looking at their papers right now but I am really not happy about the reasons stated, the grounds for irrec differences. Lot of lies and clear tactic to completely discredit me regardless.

I whole heartedly 110% want to keep the ball rolling and get divorced but can I caveat in my response somewhere that although I want to proceed with divorce the reasons given are untrue (prove-ably untrue).

Maybe my pride is getting in the way here but I just feel inside that it is wrong and I certainly don't want my agreement to proceed ­base­d on the grounds to be used as any form of admission of the reasons (i.e. says not paid money into joint bank account. Statements show I paid in quite a hefty amount each month over a period of years that they promptly emptied into their personal account halfway through)

There's a lot at stake. Can I afford to be totally discredited and trashed prior to the financial side of things being dealt with.

thank-you little nell....ditto my husband wouldnt leave the house until he had someone elses bed to share..
ive put all pride aside... is-he-breathing...however...any one who knows me knows that husbands comments are just bitching....

hi there, both parties go though a bitter phase and that is all part of the healing process.
the courts are not interested in the ....he said, she said.........part of the divorce.
i wish you luck.
try to ignore the comments, this is really hard, but this stage will pass!

My concern is will this predjudice anything later or is it an admission to anything.

I can't afford to get it wrong and get bitten later.

thnx