This is going to sound ridiculous, but I do have to ask this question.

My nisi has been issued, but I have not applied for it to be made absolute due to us not being able to come to a financial settlement.

Can I pull out of it.....the divorce, and just refuse to divorce him ??

Well, if you don't apply for the decree absolute he can, so probably not if he wants the divorce.

So once the nisi is issued - either can apply for the absolute?

From: http://www.terry.co.uk/divorce5.html

(6) After decree nisi has been pronounced the Petitioner must wait for six weeks before applying for the decree nisi to be made absolute. The decree nisi does not end the marriage and it is a kind of provisional decree. In order to be able to remarry a decree absolute has to be applied for and obtained. The delay of six weeks is compulsory and cannot be abridged without very good reason. After that period of time has elapsed the Petitioner may apply for the decree to be made absolute and does so by making a request and paying the necessary fee. On receipt of these the court normally pronounces the decree absolute within a few days and sends a copy of the decree to both parties or their solicitors. If the Petitioner does not apply for the decree nisi to be made absolute within four and a half months of decree nisi the Respondent may do so although he/she cannot do so before then. Judicial separation is slightly different in that there is only one decree rather than two. A decree of judicial separation is pronounced instead of a decree nisi and nothing further needs to be done in that case.

and from the same source:

There is one other matter which needs to be mentioned. Sometimes one of the parties to the divorce asks that the other side does not apply for decree nisi to be made absolute until financial matters have been settled. This is not always appropriate and there have to be particular circumstances present to justify it. All the same, those circumstances are not uncommon and if they exist a court would agree not to entertain an application for decree absolute until financial matters have been settled. Where this applies it can slow the whole process down.

thanks - god I thought he may be able to apply for the absolute before I have my financial arrangement in - so really I need to get my solicitor to get started on this - so i am ready.

thanks you for information.
Regards
Carrie