Dear all,

Want to obtain some advise in connection with the children.

I an currently self rep. NISI was granted a few weeks ago.

STBX is doing her best to create distance / separation between myself and our 3 kids (16, 14 and 11 years old).

I understood after reading children's rights - is that kids have the right to see their parents wherever possible.

It is evident that stbx and her parents, who will also love to see me hanging from the tallest tree around, live locally and would be more than happy for me to dissapear - they have expressed this in front of the children.

I have made avery attempt to stay locally so the kids can spend time with me; however stbx prefers that the kids spend their time with grandparents.

Recently I went to pick up the kids from grandparents; boys came out but not 16 year old daughter. I asked where she was to granparents - and with a loud laughter informed me that she was in middle east with mother. I didn't see the funny side of this.

I learnt through this same forum that fathers/respondents have no rights at all whatsoever.

My questions are:

a) If there is unquestionable proof that mother and grandparents are contributors or influencing separation between father and children - is there anything that can be done?

b) If children have a father willing to stay / spend time with them - why does a grandparent have the priority?

c) Can the mother just take a child (I am assuming that 16 years is still a child) out of the country without the father's knowledge or permission?

Will appreciate your assistance as children are being heavily influenced by mother and relatives.

In advance - thanks.

I am sorry that this is happening to you.

A parent with care can take a child out of the country on holiday without the other parent's knowledge or permission - for up to a month I think but others will confirm.

To be quite honest, however, a sixteen year old will make up her own mind what she wants to do. Keep in touch through texts and phone calls and she will see you if she wants to. In my experience, however, it's their social life, rather than parents or grandparents, that stop teenagers seeing non-resident parents.

I think it would also be extremely difficult to prove that children of the age yours are were being prevented from seeing you by their mother or her parents. However, if you took her to court CAFCASS would investigate and find out from the children what they really wanted, and the court would presumably make an order for contact. Whether you could enforce it with the older two is another matter. It's also better to negotiate contact outside of the courtroom, using mediation if necessary, if at all possible.

Best wishes,
Sadie

Sorry I missed this post.

Theres probably very little you can do with a 16 yr old other than keep trying, sending texts and grabbing any opportunity to see her. Its very hard and something I too experience.

Teenagers are difficult and people keep trying to tell me that mine will come round but somehow I dont believe it. I also agree with you that the RP and relatives have a very very big influence regardless of age. I believe that they dont say as much to the younger children to shield them but older teenagers are not sheltered from the venom/off comments as much.

I wish you luck but have little advice except dont stop trying.

Take care
tinny