Warlord,

Thanks for the post - sorry to hear about your situation and my thoughts are with you. As you say I hope people see things for waht they are in the end (my family do already - probably saw before me) - it is just the others she is likely to con

I wenmt with my wife to relate - a soon as we finished our one and only session she demanded a car, my daughters leave the house and never return, + her name on the house or she wanted a diivorce - I think in part to engineer the divorce she wanted as she knew I would not do it.

Looks like you are begining to come through it though which is good

Regards

Sea

Marshmallow

seems like sensible advice and I certainly want / need to get her out of my life as quickly as possible. Not sure about my solicitor yet - seems to recognise I have been conned but not sure how things will be handled as it is early days yet

Thanks for the post

Sea

seahorse wrote:
Warlord,

Thanks for the post - sorry to hear about your situation and my thoughts are with you.
Ah, dont worry about it. Its my own fault for trying to help someone in need. Shame on them is what I say.

If I end up with nothing, I'll still have my family and friends to cheer me up... which means I will never be alone for sure.

I havent lost my faith in women either, I've just lost my faith in choosing the right one !! lol

Sooner or later I'll meet a woman who 'wants' me, rather than 'needs' me/ or my wallet.

As you say I hope people see things for waht they are in the end (my family do already - probably saw before me) - it is just the others she is likely to con
Hmm... well, there will probably be a queue of them... thats life !

seahorse wrote:
after the death of my first wife I re-married a Russian woman who had a son

...I have a son; and I married a widower. That's all the similarity I can find with your soon-2-b-ex.

I was just wondering what time-scale was between your first wifes death; and meeting and marrying the Russian lady?

I would welcome some comment on here regarding Widowers moving on after bereavement; and I was wondering why the marriage broke down? We've had some lengthy discussions recently about this topic!

Before I came to Wiki; I participated on an Amercian Forum about Wives-of-widows and the unique problems we faced in establishing a new marriage; new ways; and finding acceptance with friends and family of our husbands.

Recently; people like Heather Mills-McCartney have clumped us all together in a very negative light. My marriage was not a betrayal of his late-wifes memory; but I was often made to feel as if I was just a 'buffer zone' and I was wondering if any negativity to accepting your new wife interfered with the eventual breakdown of your marriage.

Any honesty is appreciated. especially if you yourself feel any sense of betrayal?

Sera
x

Sera,

It was 4 years after my first wife died. In fact I rarely mentioned my first wife to her - in part because she suffered a long illness before she died. So I certainly did not remind her of the past. Whilst I accept it is always likely to be hard with step children I think the reason it all fell apart was because (if I am being generous) she just demanded too much too often (in terms of money etc.) without any sort of compromise. Perhaps a more sinsiter view and one which I am reflectig on was that it was a fairly cynical attempt to get some money from me. I did not believe this at first but things began to surface - the insistence that I adopt her son; a birth certificate that turned up with his birth surname as mine (I can read Russian a bit) + numerous other demands. Each time I put it down to a certain insecurity at being in a strange country and tried to be supportive - but when demnads keep coming that make you unhappy or seem about trying to get money you get wary. One was a simple brutal ultimatuin - put the house in joint names, give me £20k in cash or I go back to Moscow etc. Of course you look at your own feelings and actions and I can honestly say I was generous, supportive, and caring but I am not sure this was ever really reciprocated. I can all say that I was probably foolish and too easy going and maybe just a little scared at losing her and feeling lonely.

As far as moving on after a death - it does take time but in my case having nursed her for 10 years there was a ceratin relief when she died and mabe even a feeling that it was a chance to live again. When you stop going to hospitals & hospices you find you have a lot of time on your hands and no friends. Maybe there was a bit of me that felt lonely and want the friendship that a partner can bring - maybe that clouded my judgement - maybe that made me a sad lonely man.!!

Sea

Thanks Sea for explaining all of that. I too nursed my terminally ill mother; so I know all about that aspect; although it was for around ten months; not ten years.... and in recovery from my own experience, I met a widower.

I think in our search for happiness; we each attracted USERS. Her demands sound outrageous. It sounds like you have been used. Many generous folk here at Wiki have had similar experiences; and feel similarly agreived.

Sera,

Thanks for this. I suppose I am looking for a bit of support and the site has helped me. I am sure in any relationship we use each other a bit but when it gets too one-sided then it becomes problematic.

Hope you are making progress on what seems like a 'road to recovery' Seems like I am taking the first steps - juts hope the journey is not too long!!!

SEa