In Brief,

after the death of my first wife I re-married a Russian woman who had a son (not mine). After getting leave to remain in the UK she filed for divorce and is trying to get as much money as possible using her son (house, maintenance, pension etc.) I was generous throughout the short marriage (2 and half years) but finally stood up to her stealing (cash & use of my credit card) demands for money, holidays a car etc. and woke up to what was happening to me. Now she is waging what can only be described as a war day by day - all trivial things but hard to know how to respond to - switching of the washing machine in mid use - just to cause a nuisance for me and my daughters; threatening to call the police if I speak to her son; just taking things she knows I might want to use (like a camera for my niece's wedding). Whilst I am trying to keep calm and act reasonably I am finding it hard. I can accept the she can rob me of my money but feel she is also robbing me of my health. I know it is only bullying and I should stand up to her but has anyone got any advice. I feel I am dealing with a social psycopath - who can act, lie, cheat and manipulate without guilt. All I am doing is simply making a list of all the inciedents as an when they occurr.

Sea

Seahorse,
whatever you do don't let her call the police and make allegations against you. You will always be the victim if this is the case. I had this done to me, I won every court case and my ex was identified as a fantasist, however, it nearly ruined me and I still suffer the bias to this day ­base­d on malicious allegations.

My advice is to contact the police first and make a list of the things she is doing (however minor). Keep a record in order to protect yourself. The police or CPS will unlikely do anything to help you, but there will be records of you pro-actively defending yourself against her actions. Whatever happens, don't let her be the first to call the police.

Good luck - you are not alone.

Thanks for this. I have already put on record with the police that she may make a complaint - still disturbs me when she treatens to call them though. She has also threatened to ring up my work to see if she can get me to lose my job (I am sure they will not take any notice) but it makes you feel a bit wary. I am making a list of things day by day - but just feel I am sinking fast as it eats away at you. Most of it is her word against mine and she will just deny things. Perhaps it is the lack of any guilt / ability to simply deny the things that she does that gets you down.

Somehow I have got to face the propsect of discussing a financial settlement with her and I can anticipate the demands already. I just hope that somehwere in the system people can see things for what they are

It is some comfort to know that I am not alone

Thanks

Sea

seahorse wrote:
I can anticipate the demands already. I just hope that somehwere in the system people can see things for what they are

You may be protected by the Short term marriage clauses. Not sure how this will affect her needs to house a child though? Normally; each party is reinstated to what they had before; although she could argue a case of the child being a 'child of the marriage'.

I think her claim will be limited.

Sera,

I hope you are right. It is just her confidence, organisation andseeming knowledge of what she will get that disturbs me. Maybe she is just being advised by armchair solicitors.

Thanks for the post

Sea

seahorse wrote:
It is some comfort to know that I am not alone

Thanks
Hey Seahorse, I joined this site today...

And reading your post, you are definately not alone... I'm being treated exactly the same. It leaves you reeling when accusations are being made against you, that are simply not true.

Its so hard, as you even start questioning yourself !!.. I went to councelling and stopped all contact with my ex, so she couldnt get to me. Its worked, as slowly you start to see all the lies, and manipulations. Its scary how good some people are at telling lies and making up stories. But sooner or later they cant fool everyone, and cracks start to appear.

I've gone through hell in the last 5 months and its not over for me yet... but my friends have all seen her for what she is, and have backed me 110%

Just wanted to let you know, thats all... you are not the only one

Seahorse

Sounds like my ex. You sure U havent married her? LOL. There is no quick and ready answer. Save for getting her and her kid out as quickly as you can. No doubt its going to be painful and costly but this sort of thing goes on all the time. And its not just foreign nationals either. The british are ace con artists. I would get a good solicitor mate. C