Hi folks,

My question is how can I get a finacial document to stand up legally?

There's a long story of why the childrens' Mum and me aren't together but we are amicable and want the reationship to stay that way for them.

So.... we have been seperated for 13 months and we have both agreed to who takes what from the marriage. Usual things about leaving the majority of the house to her in return for no call on my pension in years to come etc.... However I would like this document to be legally binding and I don't think it is? I haven't any plans to divorce just yet but rather wait two years to have passed after seperation

Anyone any thought please? What should be my next step

Hi jollyjacktarjack

Welcome to wiki - Im sure you find a great deal of support, advice and information here.

As you have agreed between yourselves the division of assests, you could draw up a separation agreement. A separation agreement is also known as a Deed of Separation. It records from the start who is to have what and what the parties’ responsibilities are, and can help avoid the need for court proceedings at a later stage.

When preparing to draft the separation agreement, each party must produce full and frank financial disclosure, showing documentary evidence of their assets and liabilities. Each party exchanges this information with the other. Then a discussion takes place – and hopefully an explicit separation agreement can be drawn up.

If a couple can agree things between themselves, although lawyers do need to be involved, their involvement – and so the cost – can be minimal. This is true of both a separation agreement and a divorce.

On receipt of instructions from a client wishing for a separation agreement, your lawyer will draft a legally-worded agreement.

The separation agreement includes such information as age, employment and accommodation. It will also have details about you and your partner, where you intend to live, how you intend to split your monies and who will have control of the sale of any property. It may also dictate who will pay for what and have information relating to the arrangements for any children.

An agreement of this kind is not a court order and the court are not involved in its preparation. In other words, it’s a gentleman’s agreement which the parties would feel morally bound to keep but, unfortunately, there is initially no legal penalty for failing to do so. They can however be incredibly helpful in obtaining a quicker agreement on the division of assets should a divorce follow the separation. The separation agreement can be shown to the court for its opinion on whether there was an agreement and whether the agreement has been broken.

If a couple have successfully agreed to a division of their family assets and the agreement has worked well for a period of two or so years, this could form the basis of a Consent Order to a district judge, as part of the process of filing for divorce.

The time it takes to finalise financial affairs at the end of a marriage can be significantly reduced when a separation agreement has previously been drawn up.

Most solicitors offer a free intial consultation, as do the NFLP-you can find thier number at the top of this page - they will be able to draw up a legally worded document, and also give advice as to the divsion of assets. If you can sort out this side of things between yourselves and before any divorce proccedings, you may save yourself a lot of money in sols fees, and make the proccess smoother and more amicable.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.

Ruby

Ruby,

Firstly thank you for your swift reply.

I have indeed done all of the steps you mention but was a little spooked by STBXs (is that term correct?) solicitor's comments about 'seeking independent legal advice.'

I have arranged to do this and from the initial phone call I get the feeling that they would dearly love to become involved in escalating the matter. I am bothered that ths would involve much heartache and grief and would ultimately result in extra costs that neither myself or my childrens' mother would want; just for the sake of a few extra quid either way! I guess I'm in the driving seat and can decide I suppose.

So I am heartened by your comments and that is exactly what I wanted to hear. A 'gentlemens agreement' that neither wish to break.

Thank you again for your post.

Kind regards

JJTJ

Just one word of caution...as Ruby has said this isn't legally binding and can be changed at any time.

Neither of you may wish to break your 'gentleman's agreement' at the moment but personal experience, and reading the posts of others, show that as people move on with their lives and gain 'other influences' then this can change. Just bear this in mind - until your arrangements are formally 'approved' by a court either of you can change or ignore any of your arrangements at any time and there is little either of you can do about it.

Oh and you need two solicitors to do this - you each need independent legal advice, or the document will have even less validity.

I wish you well, Ruby is right that it is better if possible to negotiate these things as far as possible between yourselves.

Hello again,

Thanks to both of you for your posts. I guess I understand about 'other influences' you spoke about Ephelia, I just hope that it doesn't come to this!

When you write about the arrangement being formally 'approved' by the courts does this usually mean when the divorce process goes through?
It isn't an easy process is it and at a time when you don't need the added stress!

regards
JJTJ