Sealion.

Some of your previous post!!

Basically it is me (a shelf filler in a supermarket ) V's my ex , her solicitor ,and my solicitor . If they had listened to me ,this would have been sorted out by now and we would BOTH have been better off .
"Class" makes us what we are . We have choices in life . we choose to support our own class ,or the ruling class , I have chosen to support my own class . As I am working class ,I am regarded by my solicitor as nothing more than scum . When I wanted to agree to an offer that my ex made , she (sol) said that I was not capable of making my own decision , so she would not sanction it . . If things had been done my way this could have been avoided (but I am just a thick shelf stacker in a supermarket ,so I am worthless scum) .

Basically it is me a shelf stacker in a supermarket!! that was me once too, working the night shift to help pay towards family life!
The actual ­title­ is Shelf Replenisher!! (Know your place!)
Forget Class, its people like you who divide it! You are an EQUAL and equal to any Lawyer, I mean come on if it wasn't for you how would they eat? There would be nothing on the shelves for them to buy! It is you who feels they are "up there" and your "down there"!
Dont let anyone make you feel that way!

When I wanted to agree to an offer that my ex made , she (sol) said that I was not capable of making my own decision , so she would not sanction it.

You should of told her to get lost, it was you paying "her" bill and Lawyers do as the client tells them, if its what the client wants! even when its not in the clients best interest!

so I am worthless scum)???????????????

Who says you are?
Maybe you feel you are being treated that way in your opinion but thats down to you! dont ever let anyone make you feel like that NEVER!
Get some confidence man! Stand up for yourself, when you feel someone is treating you like that smile at them and say "hello"!

Lawyers are no different to you or me, they are just people. I must admit when all this started for me, I was a bit in awe of them, in their suits, wigs and gowns! I think we all are to a certain extent! But all they are are people with more knowledge on the subject than us! This is what makes us feel confident.

So from now on, ask the questions you need to feel that confidence next time you enter a Lawyers room. Maybe armed with Knowledge they will actually sit up and take notice of you, give you a bit more respect.

Come on man, by the time you have finished here with all this help, you'll be able to walk ten feet tall!!!!!!!

I know I do these days!

Kindest Regards
debzz

Thanks
I like "shelf replenesher" , actually where I work we are "General Assistants " (IE do anything we're ruddy well told LOL)
I actually consider that I have , in my life , aquired many "Life skills" (God I detest people who come out with phrases like that) . I have always been pretty good with money . I can get by on far less than some others can (ex wife "struggles " on £21,000 pa !!!!) . My annoyance is that , following solicitors advice , the whole thing has gone pear shaped . There is a chance that ex might have to sell the house ,when youngest leaves full time education . My point to my sol was that , it is still their home ,no matter how old they are. Her answer was , "A court doesn't regard a "house" as their home , it's the "family" that make a home " . Well ,to a point that may be so ,but I found it a load of midle class tosh .
Some solicitors (tho I realise not all ) treat us as if we are thick . The only thing she has given me credit for was forecasting a house price crash in November 2006 , when it was booming . She said "you were right about that , weren't you ? " Trouble is , I am usually right about most other things as well (apart from the ruddy horses I pick!!!!) , and I can see me renting a dive like this for years ,till I can get my own place again .
The thought of that makes me want to pack the whole lot in

Thanks for your support Loise , and all the others on here going through this hell

ECHO....ECHO....echo.....

Like Sealion, my case was presented to me by my solicitor as a division of paper assets. I presented my view which was that whilst the FMH was undeniably an asset it was also a home for my children which should be left intact if at all possible.

Solicitors should see the dilemma of ancillary relief without the emotional attachment we have and with the benefit of their experience give us a view of the possible long-term outcome, unclouded by the temporary mist that fogs our judgement clouded by the trauma of the break-up.

In all of that, solicitors should be mindful that the entire divorce process serves the break-up and not the other way round! In our vulnerable state we tend to accept that our solicitor knows best and their advice to expect that our former spouse is all set to screw us mercilessly in every way they can and therefore we should take postive (and expensive) steps not only to defend ourselves but also to screw our former spouse first!

I don't doubt that there are cases where such action is necessary but wonder if there might actually be more such cases than necessary, where the parties' animosity has been fuelled by taking solicitors' recommendations?

I recently came across a book en­title­d 'Living with the Devil' where the author, a Buddhist monk, writes that a lot of problems in the world stem from mankind's mistaken determination to shoehorn people and events into one of two categories; good and evil. If it isn't one it must be the other.

There is much in what he says. By engaging in such polarisation we ourselves create conflict.

YA

Young again!!!

In all of that, solicitors should be mindful that the entire divorce process serves the break-up and not the other way round! In our vulnerable state we tend to accept that our solicitor knows best and their advice to expect that our former spouse is all set to screw us mercilessly in every way they can and therefore we should take postive (and expensive) steps not only to defend ourselves but also to screw our former spouse first!

I totally agree!!!

In our case her "team if lawyers" she had seven throughout the years all having a dib at it! It started off with the lowest paid in the firm, but when it got a bit complicated for that one (i.e. we didn't roll over and cave into her demands) it just kept moving throughout the ranks, till eventually it was the top dog! The trouble with that was for each and every Lawyer who worked for her, they just didnt have enough time to read every single piece of paper in the file! It was two suitcases full. This was in fact their mistake.They kept tripping over themselves in court.
I wont gointo the inns and outs of it all, would take forever, but just suffice to say.....

At the start my husband offered 50% of his pension and no cash lump sum!
They wanted 80% of pension and 80k cash lump sum!
They treated us as if we were idiots unfortunately for them they didnt know we had Wiki behind us and some 1000 people with the right advice and what I didnt find out from Wiki I found on the internet!
The end result? It cost her 30k and her house (she now lives in a caravan) with her partner of five years, (they thought they were going to live a life of luxury at our expence, they even booked a 3 week holiday to Holland just after one FH, thinking they were going to walk away with the above!) I mean who books 3 weeks in holland? Its like booking a 3 week holiday to London???

Anyway she ended up with 30% pension and 2k lump sum. So for every percent she got it cost her a thousand pound to do it!
One comment from her mouth to the kids was " well i dont care how much its going to cost in Lawyers fees, its your dad who will have to pay them, my Brief sez! Cus hes just held everything up and been obstructive!

In the three years I had been so worried that because she had lawyers and barristers working for her, that the mistakes they had made were tricks, they were such blatant mistakes, I thought it was one big joke and that at the FH, it would all come out that we had been mistaken. But it wasnt a joke, it was us who won and boy did it feel good! I feel I can now take on the world.

No one will know your case as well as you will, no one, no matter how you pay someone. This for them was their mistake.

You know that Lawyer I cant remember his name, the one who gets all the stars off driving charges, manchester lawyer, I watched a programme about him and the reason he is so successful is he spends hours and hours on one case and knows it inside and out, hes ready for any question and looks up the law to see it word for word.

This, basically is me and my hubby! We didnt leave any stone unturned!
This should be everyone who has a court case looming, whetehr you have a lawyer or not, they dont know everything about your case.
Work together on it, if there is something you dont like, question it at every chance.

But.... this has to be done, in a calm methodical way, frustrating I know, you have to just accept that it can take months and dont let anger get in the way.

Extremely hard I know, but those who plan well, come out trumps in the end!

Kindest regards
Louise xx

Oh and P>S she had to cancel her 3 week holiday to Holland that FH was adjourned as her Barrister hadnt done his job properley! through lack of information from her Lawyers!!!! SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!

sealion wrote:
Thanks
I have always been pretty good with money . I can get by on far less than some others can (ex wife "struggles " on £21,000 pa !!!!) . My annoyance is that , following solicitors advice , the whole thing has gone pear shaped .

One thing I discovered about the legal profession, my point of reference being three sols,two barristers, eight judges, in my divorce, they are totally diabolical at accounts(judges excluded). At the final hearing my barrister actually conceded that I was better at working out the maths than her and handed me the calculator. The DRONES(solicitors) are so use to posturing bargaining positions they end up believing their own hype and become incapable of elementary accounting.


There is a chance that ex might have to sell the house ,when youngest leaves full time education . My point to my sol was that , it is still their home ,no matter how old they are. Her answer was , "A court doesn't regard a "house" as their home , it's the "family" that make a home " . Well ,to a point that may be so ,but I found it a load of midle class tosh .

You are so correct here, this is the argument line that I think Geldof was making, although at the time I was happily married and didn't pay much attention, the ownership of the home should be the children's and centred around them!



Some solicitors (tho I realise not all ) treat us as if we are thick . The only thing she has given me credit for was forecasting a house price crash in November 2006 , when it was booming . She said "you were right about that , weren't you ? " Trouble is , I am usually right about most other things as well (apart from the ruddy horses I pick!!!!), and I can see me renting a dive like this for years ,till I can get my own place again.


You are certainly not thick sealion, you have some of the most interesting posts on this forum. Generalisations are dangerous, but the quality in the legal system, in my opinion starts at barrister level, some of the DRONES are not that bright, some are, but some are really lacking in common sense and good manners, and that is with the added experience of using them commercially. One rude little S***T ended up paying me £5000 in compensation for his his bad attitude. He laughed when I started the action, he didn't when I personally picked the cheque up from his office, I had only paid him £4000, so a result!!