Think Nothing Of Introducing New Men In Their Life To Their Children So Soon?

Don't they realise its the security & regular leg over that the stepdad values more.

it hasn't happened to me yet, but i've seen it so often, just seems a very sick thing to do, i was with my wife for 5 years until we started a family & introduced our first child to ourselves & the world.

I suppose what i'm trying to say is how can you consider playing happy families with a new man when your children are not his & this guy wasn't at the other end during birth & never had to share all the tough times bringing up the children in their early years. Makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach.

Yes there will be circumstances where the real dad has never wanted to know his children & they get what they deserve.

Hiya Jay. I could say that some women are total bitches and dont give a sh** about the bloke they dumped that used to be dad. They can say anything to the kids and turn there heads against him. Making him the evil one. I have heard it said that kids make there own mind up and know the truth. I dont believe this theory at all. Chris.

I completely agree with Fiona (I find that I usually do).

In my experience as a parent, step-parent and step-child, as well as from what I see around me, children really do make up their own minds. They are not stupid, and they love both parents, even when one or both has behaved really badly towards them.


Sadie

Hi Jay,
I don't think all stepdads are like that and eventually your partner might take on someone who won't even be a stepdad.
I do think you raise a legitimate point though: since my wife told me she was divorcing me I've gone through the abdominal sobbing, then angry, then bitter, then confused stages. Right now I find myself looking at other women and having to remind myself that it's WAY too soon!
Some people refuse to be alone and set up home straight after or even during a separation.
It's good to hear that your ex-partner isn't like that, though clearly you have concerns. What has set you off down this path of thinking and inevitable emotions?

divwiki wrote:
It's good to hear that your ex-partner isn't like that, though clearly you have concerns. What has set you off down this path of thinking and inevitable emotions?

Hi,my wife told me 3 months ago that she wanted to seperate as she no longer loved me, expected me to move out to parents or a freinds house whilst still paying for the mortgage. 3 months on we are still in the MH with our 2 children aged 5 & 19 months. I Look after them full-time weekends whilst my wife works. 3 weeks after she told me a freind spotted her with a guy from her work in an embrace outside the cinema. She denies everything to this day, she goes out once a week with freinds from work, she looks after our children mon-fri. She has petitioned for divorce under my UB, which is bullsh**, she is embarrassed by it & feels a guilt as she often crys when the subject is bought up, but somehow she always toughens up & kind of reminds herself that this is for the best. She says she wants to be an independent single mother, however in 3 months she has not done 1 thing on her own with our children, she is always with a freind or her mom & dad when she is with them. This is why i think my children will be introduced to another man as soon as our house is sold & we go our seperate ways, she just can't be on her own. The + point is that her selfishness has made it very easy for me to get over her, it has taken a lot of time to get over the thought of not being with my children every day/night, but i'ts agreed i'll have them 3 days/nights per week when we finally split. We have also agreed on finances 45/55 in my wifes favour, although i'll be back for my 5% if she is lying about this guy from work, if he ever ends up with my children he or she will be paying up the 5%. I've told her this she says i have nothing to worry about as there is noone else!

Seeing as its women that usualy end up with the kids they want the new man to be dad. In my case my ex brought this man into our lives and she turned the kids from me to him. He thinks that I have lost my step kids. I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is not the case. I did everything I could to keep them. But just to make sure; I was ordered to tell them that I did not want to have contact with them. All the other stuff she told them just reinforced the message. Old dad bad, new dad good.

I know with absolute certainty that they will never darken my door. Lots of people have said to me that kids make there own minds up etc and for some its true. But in this case I dont believe it. The youngest said that I had verbaly abused her in a recent statement for a non mol case and the oldest said that I had had a go at her in Woolworths where she worked. This is totaly untrue. I have never abused the 1st one and I never even knew the oldest one was working in Woolworths. I rang her manager at Woolworths and she said that there was no complaint against me. That was another lie. All it was is that the oldest had spotted me having a brew in the canteen. That was it. I never even saw her.

So, goody 2 shoes women. Why do you think she did this?

I gave 12 years to that family. I was a good dad and I supported her kids. I did homework with them and took them places and loved them like a dad should. All they did was shat on me. The oldest told me that her mums boyfriend was a better dad than I ever was. That was in front of him. If you want to know more read my blog.

They are both total bitches like there mother. I dont ever want to see them again. Bitter and twisted over this? You bet. Ahmen. Chris.