I have completed 2 years of a 3 year degree. Thing is xh wants the divorce done asap so he can be free to marry his ow. He is being so awful that to protect the children I have decided to proceed with the divorce now. But I spend most days crying all day, I am not sleeping and my anxiety levels are huge, my head is s fog and I can't even cope with everyday tasks at the moment.

So do I defer my third year at uni and start year three next september if possible? Or do I carry on and try and distract myself?

My degree consists of full time work in a placment setting with long hours, plus university assignments that need completing every evening and both weekend days so its full on. If I am not sleeping, how will I manage? Or do you think carrying on and making myself tired will make me sleep?
And how on earth am I going to fit mediation/solicitor and counselling appointments into my uni/placement schedule?

It all seems too much atm and yet if I take this year out, I am proving him right by failing, not coping and maybe I am giving myself too much time to wallow.

Hi Maysie (((((((((((hugs)))))))))
You sound so exhausted.
This is probably a very simplistic idea, but have you tried herbal remedies for your sleep problems. There are so many things that can help you to sleep at night. It is horrid though when you are tired, everything is so much harder to cope with. If you could get your sleep pattern back on track you might find you could cope more. Have a look on the internet on tips for getting a better nights sleep.
Meditation, (not mediation ) might help too.
I think you need to slow down, stop putting yourself into panic and then quietly write down all that needs to be done.
A list is a very theraputic way of getting through mundane jobs. A full head, and you will not sleep. If you do go back to study it may well help, take your mind off things a bit.
I think it would be great if you could do it, but you should not attempt to push yourself to the limit.
Try first and find some form of relaxation, just lying in quiet room listening to soft music for half an hour is good for you. I took some herbal tablets once to help calm be down and they worked well.
xxxx
zara

Thing is I need to decide whether to defer in less than a week as uni is about to start .. and I have no idea of what is best

Maysie, only you know if you can cope. I am just finishing an msc and I nearly dropped out but am so glad i didn't. the uni has to provide support so if you struggling with assignments extensions can be arranged, and they should allow time for mediation etc. I am now going back to work full time. I am a mess at the moment (emotions change with the weather, think I am doing ok then BAM!) but I think full time doing something I really want to do will make me move forward, occupy my mind and give me a focus and hopefully less time to think about him. No idea if my thoughts on my course/job etc help but maybe food for thought. You'll make an excelent social worker xxx

Maysie
These herbal tablets worked within a couple of days, they are non addictive and really made a difference.
This is where the human 'fight or flight' comes into play.
if you do not think you will be able to cope then perhaps it would be best to defer it. One less piece of pressure for you. I think you want to know what I would do??
Well, if it were me, I would defer it for now. Get yourself back on track, get this horrible divorce crap out of the way, build yourself up and attack it next year.
That way it would not be half-hearted, you would be completely focused and more important, you would enjoy it, you could throw yourself heart and soul into it.
At the moment it will be a drudge, you probably might have to drop out, lots of pressure.
I hope that helps you.

zara

Maysie, the herbal pills might help you cope as was suggested here, or maybe get some anti-depressants from your DR, you will feel a slight benefit after a week or so on them & they might see you through your degree?
Only you know if you can cope, i really feel for you having to go through all of this when you're taking a degree, its a lot to cope with, good luck,
Cindy

Maysie
Have you explored whether there are any counselling services at the uni or student welfare, which might able to talk you through your decision, and might be aware of any other options for completing your degree(part time??) that might take pressure off?

fm