More good advice on coping with divorce I found...



Expecting Too Much Progress Too Quickly?

"If you're a marathon runner," says Dr. Jim A. Talley, "and you have open heart surgery, how long do you think it's going to be before you can jog again? How long before you can run a mile? How long before you can run a marathon? When you put it in physical terms, people know it may take four or five years for recovery.

"Divorce is open heart surgery, emotionally. Some people are not willing to give it enough time, and their expectations for recovery are too fast. When you get up and go faster than you're supposed to and you push your healing cycle too quickly, you have to do it over again and you get a relapse. What would normally take five years is going to take six or seven because you've done more damage to yourself in the process."

Relax. Breathe deeply. You have just had open heart surgery and the prognosis is good. You will recover, but be prepared for therapeutic exercises, time for rest, getting back into work slowly, and for other people to think you look healthy on the outside when you still have a lot of healing left to do on the inside.

Cindygirl,

That is particularly appropriate to my situation at the moment. We are only separated but I am trying to do a triathlon with an open heart .

This is good advice, remember how long it takes a baby to walk, they don't get fed up, they just keep on trying and then one day, the steps are taken and from that time on, it's all a blur and they are running around getting under your feet!

I keep beating myself up over not being right and it has only been 8 weeks since we separated. Some times I can't get out of bed most of the day. Sad but true. I really feel I should be doing more but the separation was the last straw in events over the last year and a half. However, the above does put things into perspective in some respects. I've come a long way from the early days and find myself more functional now than I was. even manged to start decorating the house but came to stop recently. I'll try and do more tomorrow

This is real good advice. Things arent happening fast enough for me and to get to the end of my divorce. I am patient but this is trying my patience.
GKx

cindygirl wrote:
You have just had open heart surgery and
......and been disemboweled; tarred-and-feathered; poisoned, had a frontal labatomy and finally hung, drawn and quartered in the Court proceedings...

pass me a Paracetamol; no wonder I'm feeling off!

lol Dera, love the way you worded that!! No seriously i'm sorry for all of you that are still on the emotional rollercoaster. Don't worry it has to stop soon, it will run out of fuel & you can get off!!
Take care everyone,
Cindy