Last night i went out with lots of friends & my new man friend (the widow) to a 60s dance, we had a great night & danced til 3am. This morning my stbx text me asking if he could come see me, i said no, just leave me alone, go make your life with the woman you thought was better than me & let me make my own life! He said, 'is this cos you have a new man, was you with him last night?' I text back & said yes, i do have a new man in my life so stay away from me & go finish what you started as i can't be friends with you anymore, it just isnt right & i'm sick of your lies & games!
5 mins later i got a call from the man i'm seeing telling me my best friends son just died suddenly. I was in such shock, he was out with us last night, 33 years old, ive known him since a baby & my friends kids are in my daily life! His brother died at xmas age 27 of cancer, now him, it was a lot to take in, massive heart attack & feel dead. I sat crying when i put the phone down & then stbx rung, i was sobbing, i told him of the death & he said im on my way.... i was too weak to argue. He offered me a lift to my friends house to console her, i accepted it & he asked me to ring him later, i said no, but thanks for the lift. It was a traumatic afternoon to say the least.
Well, i got home in a taxi around 6pm and then i started getting texts off ex calling me a stupid bloody cow, then lots of swear words, i was shocked, how could he do this & why would he after whats just happened? It was totally out of character & i just swore back & said leave me alone, i hate you!
An hour later his sister rung me to say he was blind drunk & had took a lot of valium (hes an alcoholic, goes to AA but sober 3 years). She warned me that his son had locked him in the house to stop him trying to drive to mine to cause trouble. I locked all doors and had phone ready to call police if he came. Half hour later his daughter rang me, saying her dad had climbed out the window & drove off, she warned me he might be heading to mine. I so didnt need all this tonight! He didnt arrive thank goodness but i hear he went back with more booze, feel & split his head open. All i can say is makes me so glad im not living with him anymore, i put up with that for years, so much abuse, yet i still loved the ba***rd, what planet have i been living on? If i wasnt so upset over the lads death I would be lol at what his new woman has to put up, she hasnt a clue what hes like in drink until now. Anyway, i left him a text for morning when hes sober saying if he causes me hassle one more time or contacts me again in such a manner I will serve an injunction.
Sigh, what a terrible day its been, my heads like thick fog & my hearts racing, i feel physically ill tonight.
Came in here to try to take my mind off it all, thanks for listening if you read this far, take care,
Cindy

Sorry to everyone if my posts are a bit short tonight when i answer them, i'm not thinking straight but i'm thinking of you all here & hope tomorrows a good day for you, take care,
Cindy

sorry your feeling so low at the moment cindygirl, i always read your messages and agree with it all even though i dont answer but please know there are people out here who care and i'm sending you a big hug xx

Hi Bushbaby, thanks so much for your reply, i'm a lot better than i was when i wrote that post, it was an awful day & night, but i got through it, as we always must! Hoping you're doing ok yourself?
Cindy

Sometimes life just throws more at you than you think you can bear. But you do bear it. You will bear it and one day look back and wonder how you did it. we are all stronger than we think.
be strong! x

Ohh cindy girl

I just don't know what to say. What a terrible time, hope you are feeling a bit better now.

The only positive I can see is that your stbx's "new love" will now see him in his true light, consolation being is she may dump him soon.

Courage is being afraid to go on, but going on anyway.

XXX Fleur XXX

Hi Jessie2, you're so right but somehow we do bear it & as the saying goes, 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'
The more life throws at me lately the stronger i seem to becoming? Its kind of like nothing anyone can say or do to me in the future can be any worse than what i've been through the past couple of years! I lost my younger brother suddenly in 2006, my father 17 days later, my best friend got cancer (she survived though thank god) my ex left for a younger woman, my same best friend then lost two sons in the last 8 months, i was really close to all her sons.
So, if death & divorce are the top 2 reasons for depression & stress then i'm living proof that you CAN get through it. I've had no choice but to face it all & carry on, baby steps forward through the heartache.
All the best to you,
Cindy