Hi All

I just needed to have a rant so here I go. My ex left me just over 2 1/2 mths ago to live in a flat we bought around the corner from where we live as an investment. Days before he moved out I discovered texts and phonecalls which turned out to be to an ex girlfriend of 26 yrs earlier who had contacted him. She then moved into our flat with him 2 wks after he moved in. I hate them being around the corner, going to locals pubs and clubs where the ex and I had belonged for the last 18 yrs.I was advised by my sols that my ex can't make the children see the OW, I've told my ex it's too soon but since day one he insists on the kids seeing her. My eldest (19 yrs) has refused to have anything to do with her so my ex has turned his back on our son and didn't even give him a birthday card last week. My daughters however just put up with the OW to keep the piece and I guess they are afraid dad will turn his back on them if they say anything. I know they'd prefer to see their dad on their own.
I feel so hurt and angry as my ex is trying to play happy families with our daughters. My youngest has just returned from her once a week visit with her dad. He took her horse-riding, then back to the flat. It was supposed to be just the two of them so I thought but the OW arrived home. She was playing scabble with my daughter and gave her money. Next sunday they are taking her to Longleat (I've always wanted to go but ex didn't). He cooked a roast dinner and it acting the perfect father and partner. When he was home with me he couldn't even take his plate in the kitchen and hasn't cooked in years. This was one of the things I used to get depressed about as I did absolutely everything around the house and garden. So why has he suddenly changed for her? I want my daughter to enjoy her time with her dad but I feel so hurt and angry over the way he has treated myself and our son. I was with my ex for over 24 yrs and he's just cast us aside like rubbish so he can have his new life with the OW.
Sorry to rant, I feel so down about things.
I'm trying my best to move on and start rebuilding my life but as long as they live so close I'm constantly being reminded of what the ex has done and things are so differcult and painful.
Jenny
x

Jenny

Rant away! I was very angry with my ex tonight too, he came round and upset me.

Before that, he collected our younger son to take him out to play pool. While son was getting ready, ex was chatting to me and said something about when he was vacumming. Now I think he vacummed in our house twice at most!

It's cos its a new relationship and they are on best behaviour to impress. Once my ex' new woman sees the shouting, aggressive, control freak he is things will change.

And although he's the one who was horrible and then left for someone he'd already lined up, he has the nerve to say all that was wrong in our relationship was me!!!!

Jenny

so very sorry to see you hurting. I was reeling from your post because it is almost the same as my situ. I can't offer any advice but look forward to hearing what others have to say.

Keep your chin up and stay strong. xx

Jenny,
It is so ridiculous how men turn into the most houseproud,
capable so fantastically wonderful person the minute they shack up with another woman. They turn into children, skipping around wanting everyone to be soooooo happy with them and for them.
It wont last, and I think it is unacceptable that so early into a relationship he is expecting his children to be soooo happy for him. He is acting like an absolute ape.
Why cant they understand that you and the children are not going to accept this for a while, he must be as stupid as his flooosie to think this for one minute. She has got to be a right thicko too.
It is horrible, why do they want to rub it in even more.
just wish the lot of them WOULD BLOODY GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There I have a rant for you too.


Zara

Hi Jenny

Things must be so difficult for you at the moment. My heart goes out to you.
My husband has moved in with his girlfriend but, thankfully, they live over 200 miles away. I have to admit that I feel quite territorial whenever I know he is in the area so it must be absolutely unbearable for you.
My teenage son has yet to meet the girlfriend - he was offered the chance to meet her (the same day that he learnt that his father was moving in permanently with her!) but declined for the time being, although I do know that this is something he will choose to do in the future (secretly, I dread it!)
I can relate to what you say about your husband 'playing happy families'. I imagine that this is exactly how my husband will be - trying to show her what a great guy he is. An example of this is that, since my husband has been with her, he has taken up cycling. He proudly told my son & I how he had been out on a 30 mile bike ride. I just looked at him with bemusement, particularly as in all the years he has been a father, he has only ever gone out on a bike ride with our son on a couple of occassions. My initial reaction was to giggle to myself about him feeling the need to impress his young girlfriend but, actually, when I really thought about it, I felt incredibly angry. So I, too, am left with the question 'why has he changed for her?'
I cannot offer you any advice but I can empathise with the way you are feeling. To be cast aside & then watch while they reinvent themselves is uncomfortable & hurtful, especially if they were unwilling to make any compromises before.

Wishing you well

Iwillbeok x

Hi Jenny. Its bad when you live so close to your ex. But its early days for you. I live about 1/4 mile from my old family and I see them often. I never speak to them of course and they dont speak to me. Its been that way for a very long time now. You do get used to it. I just blank them and they do the same to me.

As for doing things you never did before thats normal. I am like that. I do loads of new things and I surprise myself everyday. Its one of the things you do. You will probably do the same.

It is wrong to introduce someone into there lives so soon. I think one of the reasons why I wasnt allowed to continue being dad was she didnt want the kids to know the truth. Not that I would have said anything but she is a paranoid bipolic lier and she can never be wrong.

The lastest story I have heard about the reason for our breakup was that I never supported her when her mum died. Thats total crap. It was me that sat with her mum for 2 nights while she died. I sorted the death cert and wrote and delivered the funeral speech. How is that not being helpful? But I know the truth. C

Hi

Thankyou all for your kind replies, I'm feeling a bit more like myself today and not quite so angry. I'm sure he'll return to his former ways sooner or later and at least I don't have to clear up after him anymore I guess

Jenny
xx