I have reached breaking point and can't see a way out.

The thought of this divorce and conflict is too much to bear.

I am just shy of being locked up. Can't bear the fact they live so close to me, or that kids get on with his new model, or that I feel used and abused.

I don't understand anything. I have let him destroy me.

I am going to stop the divorce - I don't care anymore.

Lily,
You are going through hell at the moment. Nothing to stop you just slowing everything down. Take it at your pace. When you are good and ready. To say that he is an insensitive swine, is an understatement.

Take a breather. Come up for air. Feel a little stronger. But make your decision when you are in a better ­frame­ of mind than you are at this moment.

Everyone here wants the best for you. If that is pressing the 'Pause and Reflect' button, then so be it.

There are no right answers in this mess. Just compromises and division. Take some time to reflect a little.

Take care of yourself,

Mike

Lilyann, im so sorry you feel so bad today, i know where your coming from, i feel the same often yet i know to stop the divorce will just prolong my agony. My stbx has also gone off with a younger model, i too feel used & abused, just like you. I even used your exact words last night, said i felt he had destroyed me & my will to live! I had a short period where i was ok, moving on, but then he started ringing & texting me & saying he was sorry etc & threw me into turmoil again. I feel ive come all this way for nothing, still love him so its hard to just move on. Keep posting here as everyone understands what you're going through, i know it will get easier one day & i pray that day comes soon for all of us. Whatever you decide to do is ok, but dont do anything in haste either, wait one more day each time you want to do anything drastic, it works for me.
Hope you feel better able to cope very soon

Thanks for your replies, but he said he would make my life hell if I didnt carry on divorce the last time I halted it. I have played right into his hands. To find out that all the time I'd been in my "safe" flat all these months that he and her only live a few doors away is too much to bear. In a way it is good for the kids (one with each of parents) but the little one is just flitting back and forth and it is not fair on me when he didnt give a stuff about us for 9 months. Now I am asking her when she coming back or shall we do this, its "I dont know, or dads taking us out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem, but who am I? Just because they are teenagers does not mean that access arrangements should be set and fair. I am trying to have a life (whats left of it anyway) too.

hi lilly,
you torturing yourself will not bring him back.I know that this is not going to be very popular but sometimes we need to have a reality check so please do take it in the good intention it is meant.
Well here we go
have you ever thought that it could be the atmosphere in your home that is driving your children to his girlfriend .
Children find it very difficult when their parents are divorcing and do not know how to handle it.By seeing one parent very distressed a child can either become over protective or seem to be indefferent ,I think it is a way of coping.If at dad they can have a more relaxed atmosphere so they will go there but that does not mean they do not love you.We should never ask or expect a child to chose.Can we be expected to chose among our children???.
I know how you are feeling but you are the only one who can make
a difference to your life,we are here to help you.
Your husband belongs to someone else ,if you love you should let go.give yourself time to heal,you will get there in the end.
see you in chat,you are a lot stronger than you think and nothing is impossible ,not in wikis dictionary.
much loveXXXXX

Hi lilly

If you want to slow the divorce down then you take your time hun. Do things at the pace you want. You are in control of your life. You are hurting so much at the moment but you will start to rebuild your life. It all takes time and what you are feeling is what we all have been through.

The emotions involved in this are all over the place and its so hard. Your kids will always love their mum and no one will replace you. They only have one mum and thats you!!!

(((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))

see you in chat

Jude x

Jude is right - do things at your own pace and don't think for a second about his feelings. He has already made your life hell, and is now throwing his toys out of the pram because, although he is getting his way, he isn't getting it fast enough!! For god's sake, how can people be so self obsessed and so unreasonable!

Just know that when you sort things out, you're doing it for you too, not just for him. You are moving towards a future that does not involve being treated like this and that does not involve feeling like this. Every painful step forward takes you further away from the cause of this pain, and into a better future.

Take care of yourself lilly

Sun
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