Sera,

Go for it. ChrisM, I agree with your view of British justice, but it is waning. It is all because the govt is turning down the wick on funding. Cuts have to be made. Fewer judges, longer delays generally in the Court, greater pressure to cut hearings short in the interests of "only sticking to the relevant stuff" etc.

Dammit, I am going to a talk by Sir Mark Potter, the top judge in the land, here on 5 Nov en­title­d "English Justice - a thing of the past?" If he thinks there is an issue to be dealt with there, I rest my case.

Disgusted of Tonbridge Wells (alias Will C)

Will,

I'm sure if you start a thread, and ask for letters to be sent from us divorcing-folk, you'd get some siggies to back you up. (I for one! Even though I don't need leagl-aid, I'm all for fighting the shere injustice of this!)

Hi Sera,

Be carefull. My wife left me in December because "she couldn't live with me anymore" - we have been together for 16 years and have three kids.

At the end of July, I found out the real reason - she had been having an affair since pre Dec 2005!!!

I confronted her (told me it was none of my business); confronted him and he denied (liar).

As a result, was promptly arrested and questioned on two counts:-

1) He claimed threatening behaviour (I denied and my word against his ended up me getting a caution for harrasment)
2) She showed the Police two texts hat I had sent her telling her in no uncertain terms of what I thought.

The texts were offside, but in the circumstes I have no regrets.

The big problem for her was what she didn't show the Police - a text that she had sent me which was appaling in content. I asked for my phone to be brought into the interview (luckily I got a reasonably copper who allowed it), and after thay had seen the text that sparked my reaction, they let me go without charge.

The word of caution is this, the Police are very "hot" on domestic issues (violence, harrasment etc). They basically get brownie points from the government to react to these types of incidents (no I am not belittling this but they do go overboard).

I was arrested without discussion - had the coppers who pulled me in at 5.30 in the morning had have spoken to me I may not have been interviewd at all.

Harrasment can mean anything; texts, emails are a matter of record as I guess are taped conversations (although I have been told that in order for to be admissible in this country, you have to be told that you are being recorded rather than just secretly being recorded - this might be twaddle so don't rely on it).

Anyway, be careful of what you write down, if you have anything to say, say it to their face and preferably when they are alone!!!!

Thanks, and I'm not even bothering to speak to him anymore, and we agreed in the first meeting to no phone calls. (Even tho' we share house).

Anywayz, I'm now seeing a sol on Friday, to represent me hopefully. Regarding tapes. My ex's sol asked if the tapes could be brought in, and the district-judge just didn't answer. So - do I take that as a "no"!?

The problem I have, is that within weeks my husband provoked rows,he recorded them without my permission, (nothing threatening, just marital dispute stuff), we both used 'colourful' language, (hey! we're creatives! I think we met swearing!) ... but when written, it looks like abuse. My ex also has access to professional sound engineering equipment, and his voice doesn't appear on these tapes, (I've not heard them, but seen his sols running tran­script­ions). Basically, he can cut and edit any way he chooses, (I know EXTREME misconduct) and it looks like I'm having a one-sided rant at him.

I doubt the judge would allow tapes because of his professional studio access. He could've already spliced them, (all done digitally) before even playing to his sol.

I'm guilty accused of nothing but responding to very provoked verbal intimidation and abuse from him!

After he made false allegations to the police, we both had interviews. I have been treated very favourably by them, and despite that I'd said, he needed anger management, and I'd support him, (that a month ago), they said they saw patterns, that I can't deal with. They said I was 'naieve' and that they're much better at detecting abusers, than I am. They admitted I was intelligent, but I should trust they have more experience.

There are no charges against either of us.

It al just makes me feel like a criminal (for falling in love with the wrong boy!)... prior to this, I didn't even have a parking ticket to my name.

I'm going to see my name cleared on this!

In my perpetual quest for justice, (and not wanting to leave our house - yet!)... I'm building my defense.

I'm posting here for anyone else that is self-repping.

The court-bundle looks quite intimidating. Stamped bits of paper, bearing court-seals admittedly give you the squits.

BUT: I decided to treat each page individually. Breaking it down into each allegation.

I bought some poundland plastic wallets (pkt 8 for a quid!)

I went through the scarey, naughty court-bundle, and put a post-it-notes on each page, with 'instructions-to-myself' of what action was needed:

ie: Ex's witness statement is in contradiction to a police visit (Husbands claim I was 'harrasssing' him).... so put post-it note on what to do:
(Called police for advise, they said PC-Bloggs could not be called to a civil/family court as a witness). However, I can apply to the superintendant, and PAY for a statement of PC Bloggs. (They weren't sure of costs, said it was £90 from a few years back). So, say it's £150 now, it's sure worth it to prove he's lying!

Further evidence from me: (In re-writing our relationship history), he's claimed in his affidavit, that I was so angry and violent on our honeymoon that security had to restrain me!
Post-it-note says to self: 'Call holiday agent, have them request if anything was logged in the hotel securities incident book'. (I called agent, customer services very helpful, they said allow a few days, and they will put their findings on a letterhead).

On 22nd Sept. Ex claims that I 'harrassed him all day, constantly banging on his door'...

My diary says I met with my son that day. So, I went through the rubbish in my car, found my first scrap of 'evidence', I was parked by 10.30am 20 miles from our house. Second Credit card receipt, proves by 2pm I was paying for lunch 25 miles from home. Second CC receipt shows I was buying a Barry Manilow CD at 2.48pm (Yes, I know that's a criminal offence in itself, but I happen to need some chill-out smooze right now!)...

10.22pm, petrol receipt shows I was 10 miles from home.

So, I stuck all proofs in my poundland document wallet to defend item: 2.5 of court bundle... and if that's not enough to prove I wasn't 'harrassing him all day'... His work states he was hundreds of miles away in Swansea!

(Same goes for dates he's claimed he witnessed my car outside a Londond address on two nights, stating I now lived elsewhere.......) His work diary shows he was even more hundreds of miles away, in Cumbria!!!!

...and so it goes on.. and on, only another 90 issues to address.

Well done. Keep on trucking!

I don't understand why you want to stay in the house though. If I had somewhere else to go to I'd be out in a shot.