I am about to be reconciled with my partner... can I cancel my final hearing. My solicitor said I can't....? Thank you

Hi Jane_way,

That's a very odd thing for your solicitor to say. To the best of my knowledge the two of you instruct your respective solicitors to write to the court (they do it because they are down as representing you) and ask for the date for the final hearing to be vacated as you are exploring the prospect of reconciliation.

Of course divorce proceedings can be stopped by the agreement of the two parties, it IS all about them in the first place!

Good luck

YA

HI there

No, the court will not take a matter out of the list as such short notice. You should attend, the judge will withdraw the application, wish you well, and will be very grateful to use your hearing time to catch up with his paperwork.

Congratulations by the way, I hope it goes very well.

Amanda

Hi Jane_way,

You know what? That big, bold part of the ­title­ 'with 24 hours to go' passed me by. I got hold of the wrong end of the stick completely! Mea culpa.

Amanda is quite right of course!

Good luck again!

YA
(This time with glasses on)

We went to court as my solicitor and barrister refused to take my instructions to cancel. Both my barrister and solicitor were aggressive and wouldn't listen to me, telling me that the judge might not even agree to a suspension and that he might insist that the FH goes ahead. I was really upset at the thought that I couldn't now choose my own destiny.

What I should have done was told my solicitor and barrister that they were sacked and I could have gone in on my own to ask the judge to suspend but I felt intimidated and out of control.

Of course... the judge agreed, why wouldn't he - this was our life. And he dismissed for 12 months after which date it would become void.

What all this has showed me was that I have been told now for so long what I can and cannot do. I have been led by a sense of fear instilled in me by my sol... even though this is my life not hers. I have had letters and replies that have wound me up and caused me to behave tit-for-tat and it has been such a waste of energy and money. I am angry with the whole system of representation - it feeds on your anger and desire for revenge... if I hadn't had them I might well have been able to reconcile much sooner. So I'm now angry with myself as well, but now I'm through it I'm calm and focussed and I can actually sleep again.

If I can offer anyone any advice at all... I would say if you feel you can, try and detach yourself from what your solicitor is telling you and try to realise that they might be deliberately trying to make things seem worse than they really are. More than anything though, try not to be angry during your case and it's development because it is the one thing that will surely destroy you and any of your chances at reconciliation or fairness... I thought I wanted revenge, but all I wanted was things back they way they were when we first met. And as it turned out that's all we both wanted.

Good luck everyone x

Many thanks Jane

Often we dont find out the outcome so thank you for the update, and well done for not being bullied by your sol and barrister.

I wish you every happiness for the future

jane_way wrote:
I have been led by a sense of fear instilled in me by my sol... even though this is my life not hers.

....it has been such a waste of energy and money.

I am so happy to read that just one marriage didn't fail because of the ruthless, aggressive behaviour of greedy legal representatives.

Well done and good luck to you both!

Sera
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