Moca,

Given that what is being suggested is so far from what would be considered fair, you may actually have trouble getting a consent order agreed on this basis .. and if your stbx has any sense he will want that to happen as otherwise you could apply again in the future for more money. He will have to fill in a financial disclosure form which the judge would look at before agreeing to the consent order.

I know you are a long way from us ... but have you considered asking the wiki lawyers for a second opinion at least?? It won't cost you anything.

Hadenoughnow

Hi Moca,

I fully agree with Hadenoughnow, first of all this 5k offer doesn't seems sensible to me at all. I confused how he will get it stamped from the court and he has to disclose all the information to the court and definitely court will reject it unless he lies on the declaration to court and don't put anything but if he does this he will be in more trouble in future as you can come back and claim anytime...

I am sorry but it seems he is taking advantage of you not being english and don't know much about english laws and u r scared to fight for all this....

Although I am in totally different situation as my ex - wife want 140% from the settlement hence can never reach agreement...But I do feel for you and I beleive in fairness but sometime it's difficult

Thank you,sun_shadow and hadenoughnow

Even he try to make up lies, his pension and house value is there..at least.
If he has got mountain of debt, can he take any "advantage" to reduce the settlement? (I mean..can he make any "excuse" not to pay?)

To apply divorce in 2010, what do I have to start to prepare? (mainly, for financial issue)

I will apply it in 2010..because now Im taking nursing course and it will finish in 2010. It is easier for me to apply it after I finish this course(nursing course is too busy and lots of stress...).
Also I can come back to UK anytime as well. At the moment, once my clinical placement start, I can't leave here.
I know just "divorce" will be easy but "sorted finance" takes long time and needs lots of preparation.

yes..I don't have any confidence to get through this.
Even I have just left my solicitor, because I couldn't get any practical advice even paid 1000 pounds..

To get through the court, it is harder than taking English exam which I have ever had...

Thank you once again for your helping me get started in the real world..

Regards,
moca

Moca,

Well done for being strong. I know it is hard for you after all you have been through.

As far as financial information goes, you need to be very organised about your spending and earning. Keep bills, receipts,bank statements etc. You will need to provide 12 months bank statements with your Form E - the Financial Disclosure and a schedule of your income needs - how much you need to live on. If you have any documents relating to his finances - eg pension benefits forecasts or similar hang on to them .. they may be useful.

Please do make sure you have protected yourself by registering your interest in the FMH .. you can do that with the Land Registry. If you do not, he will be able to sell it.

The other thing is his pension ... I don't know if the BDM boys or someone can help with this ... but I seem to remember you said he could take it quite soon. As you are still married, you would be the beneficiary if anything happened to him .. but I am not sure if you need to register any interest in it .. for example he could take a large lump sum and spend it.

He could try to claim that he has debts - but any debt he accrues now would be his alone as you are not living together ... you are not even in the same country!
If he does try to do this, you can ask for details nearer the time.

Please be aware that even though you have agreed to wait for 2 years, he could decide to divorce you. He would have to come up with some unreasonable behaviour grounds but they can be fairly mild and still be enough.

You do still have the option of applying for maintenance pending suit ... even before you divorce he could be made to give you some money to help you afford to live.

And don't forget that even if you did work out a fair (fair to you!!) settlement it could not be legally binding until after you have a decree nisi - the first part of the divorce.

Hadenoughnow