Hi

I am going to agree his offer for settlement as £5000.
It is 2 years separaiton for divorce because he said it is much easier to divorce.
But am I stupid to agree this offer ? (yes I know I am, though... )

This is our background

married 6 years plus live together 1 year
No kids
He is English and I am Japanese.
We married in England lived in England as well.
I am residential visa holder to stay/work in UK.
I lived in England since 1999 but not because of marriage.
(some people misunderstand for people from oversea..To get marry to live/work UK to send some money to thier country.. In my case it is NOT. I had never intended to marry anybody when I came to UK.Even I never send even 1 penny to Japan. Thanks)

He is senior police officer (British police officer) and retired in 2010 after 30 years serving for Police force.
now he gets around 40K per year include tax.

we separated in March this year, because he asked me to leave to enjoy his own life until his retirement (but actually he has got girlfriend already and the other hand he has been on the swingers site for 3 years as Gold Member!)

Even after his retirement, if I can work more propery to support our old age( not so old though) life, and the other hand my qualification which I got is British standard, it is not accepted in Japan (I am Japanese therefore I joined nursing school in Japan.).
now I m nurse student but woking as part time at Clinic as therapist. I get ONLY 5K a year at the moment in Japan.
I can't work as full time because I am on the course for nurse training.

when I lived with him I was working parttime (in England of course) so I paid Council tax £130 per month and contibuted food, some house hold things and our holiday.

We used to have joint account, almost my saving but we spent the saveing for buying furniture and blick work for our house and holiday as well, it was around 4K ish.
Therefore he said he PAID me BACK the money as 5K, that's is the settlement...

The house is his sole name he got it before our marriage, about 15 years ago. The house is 4 bed room and value is around 180K ish.

I have some savings around 10K thats all(include my sister's money..inherited 7.5K)
No debt.
my car is 4K (bought in cash, not car loan)

He has some savings around 4K ish,
Credit card debt is 16K *before our marriage
He has got a Jaguar it is around 15K.

here is his police pension detail and it says

Without Commutation
Pension £21,350.50 per year
married partner's pension £10,675.50 per year

With Full Commutation
Pension £16,012.50
married partner penstion £10,675.50
Tax Free lump sum £80,062.50


I had NO idea what and how much I en­title­.
I gave all information as same as above to my solicitor but I could not get any advice about the financial issue from my solicitor.

I felt awful..when I imagined how much legal bill I would get from solicitor later on if I took him to the court without "likely outcome" (I know nobodya can predict it perfect though, but still guess a bit..?)..
Legal fee would be 10 -20K? of course it depends on..
And I did not understand at all for any of divorce paper what I had to write on. Where I had to start to write..Each time I asked any to my solicitor, it is charged...of course..I know but ...I didn't know it worth to ask or not.
But how I can work for it? So I thought " enough..!"

So I agreed his offer £5000.(We have not had sign on the paper yet though...)

but I do not know it is right or not. Of course nobody knows though...

Even if I took him to the court, the legal fee would cost around 10 - 15K at least.
If he had to pay me 20K, the result is the same as 5K...
That's why I thought 5K will be ok..because again I don't know how much I will en­title­...his ex wife got 13K after only 2 and half year marriage, so I thought 15K ish.(just my guess)
Did I make wrong decison?
well, if so, please laugh at me

moca

Moca,

Of course it is your decision but please be aware of the following before you sign..

The 800k you quote for pension lump sum seems very very high. As his is retiring very soon then for the purpose of my answer i am going to think of the pension as an income stream not an asset.

So total assets are 180k (house).
Total income is 25k (his 20k pension and your 5k salary).

Current proposed split is:

Assets : 5k to you, 175k to him
Income : 5k to you, 20k to him.

Does this seem fair to you?

Moca, this is the bit i dont think you fully appreciate in english law......even though he had the house before you met and even though the house is in his name and even though the majority of the pension was accrued before you met ..... you are still (after a 5 year marriage en­title­d to a fair share of the assets to meet your needs).

This is of course a guess......but I would estimate that if you go to court you would be awarded somewhere between 40k and 60k.

Even if you Self Represent (ie do not use a solicitor) i think you would get at least 40k.

So....

if you wish to accept 5k then that is your choice.

But make that decision knowing that you have earned and are fully and fairly en­title­d to at least 40k and very possibly up to 60k.

If you accept 5k then you are quite literally making a gift to him of 35k or 55k .... does he deserve that gift? This is money that you need. It is rightfully your money.

If you had 35k in a bank account today - would you really choose to gift the money to him? Couldnt you find a better use for that money?

And just to confirm it is not mandatory to use a solicitor. You will still be awarded around 35k (guess) if you go to court yourself. The main downside is that you will wait for maybe 6 months to 1 year before you get the money.

If you do use a solicitor then they have a good chance to get you a higher award - closer to the 60k, but then of course you need to pay their fees.

If you are on 5k per year then 35k is seven years salary. Please, please think long and hard before 'gifting' your ex seven years salary.

The 800k you quote for pension lump sum seems very very high.

Forgive me but I cannot see where Moca stated this.

Did I make wrong decison? well, if so, please laugh at me.

Moca, I agree with DBNO. You are being shortchanged but no one is laughing at you.

I can't speak for anyone else but I do not think you are "one of these foreigners" who are out for all they can get when they marry a British Citizen.

I have been following your story and my heart goes out to you.

I don't know what else to suggest as to how you're going to get the settlement you deserve. Are you back in Japan now or still here?

I think Moca has since deleted the 800k quoted, perhaps it was a typo. In any case it doesnt change my answer.

Thank you for your advice!

When I said to my solicitor about settlement, she said "how about 7000? he might try to reduce it to 5000." That's all.
So I thought in my case it is 5000.

If I can get 35K, I can get back our dog to transfer to Japan which is the main thing for me as well...
because my ex threatened me again and again, "If you asked me 5K to pay, I will sell this house to pay it for you then I have to find renting accomodation. But in that case our dog might be re-homed" (before, even he said "he (dog) might be put down" ! )
Transfer the dog from UK to Japan, it costs around 4k..(might be more) because it is a big dog.

I finish my course in March 2010.
When I am quailified , I will be able to get more money than 5K...of course.. but if I apply divorce in March 2010..

1.Is it too late to apply divorce in 2010?

2.Do I have any disadvantage if I start working as nurse/therapist? (I will get around 20K per year)

3. I sent him email to say I agreed 5K for settlement but I haven't sign on any yet. In that case , anything is "effective" agreement legaly..isn't it?

If it is no problem... I might try to be self rep backing to UK. and also I take back our dog as well for his welfare..

Or..do I try to have negociation him again asking 15K not 5K..?

Even now it is 5K but he says he can't pay now so I said to him that "you can pay anytime even 1 penny a day is fine, as long as you don't sell the house and keep our dog happy."
So I don't mind waiting 2 year to get 5K...

It is 2 years deparation for divorce.
Because he doesn't want to be revealed his misbehaviour (at the Swingers site) as UB on the divorce paper to show the Court people (he is working at the same building with them), therefore 2 years separation , he wanted to do.

I don't need to get the higher ammount as 60K..
If I get even 15K, it is more than enough to transfer our dog and I can spend the money for our dog for his walfare until he die...even I can donate some money from it to RSPCA to rescue more animals or palliative care which is my work field.

I don't think he deserve to get all money..because he doesn't feel any guilty to cheat on anybody...not only me but also his ex-wife, ex-girldfriend, ex-ex girlfriend and current girl friend as welll. He has kept cheating on all to sartisfy his strange desire... it is wrong..no degnity.

But the other hand I would like to show the last my respect to him to work to deal with lots of criminals...so I don't want to take the highest ammount from him. Even I don't respect him as husband, but he worked hard as police officer even not all the time though..

Moca,

For what it is worth, in my case my ex was close to retirement. He has a lump sum of nearly 100k and a pension of about 10k a year from the rest.

I too am a little confused by the figures you quote ... the pension with full commutation does seem on the high side compared to my ex's ... but I am assuming you have a copy of the statement of benefits which should be accurate.

The way the judge dealt with it at final hearing was that he counted the tax free lump sum as cash ... and added it to the cash pot. The rest of the pension he ignored, treating it as an income stream.

If that was how your stbx's pension was treated - especially if you wait two years to divorce .. then you have an assets pot of 260k. 5k from that is just not going to be appropriate in any way.

Even if you got 20% of the assets, you would still be looking at more than 50k. That would make your life very much easier. Incidentally have you explored the option of applying for maintenance pending suit - that could make things easier for you.

Hadenoughnow




.

Thank you for advice, hadenoughnow

I didn't get any financial advice from solicitor.
Therefor, I had no idea then I just said 5K, it is around the same ammount with our joint account which was almost my money.

At the first time when we decided "separation" in April (I was in japan but until the day, we agreed "long distance marriage" not "separation for divorce"), then he said "My solicitor said you can't en­title­ anything even 1 penny", then he wrote draft agreement following his solicitor's advice, but I didn't sign on it.(it said nothing about settlement)

Then he said to me "Don't think to touch my pension! otherwise I really really hard you! "

Just I was so scared of him, and didn't want to get any stress also I didn't have any confidence to get through the court with difficult English law words..

Then I said to my solicitor 5K for settlement after I sent all information about financial detail which I have got.(I don't think I have got all, but I sent her pension statement and bank account, and letter from his Sirgent shich say his saraly)
Then her said "how about 7000? "
So I thought 5 - 7K is reasonable in this situation....

I am going to think about it again...
but my budget to ask solicitor is run out already.

thank you again..for all your advice.

Regards,
moca