I am currnetly faced with a devorce as my wife has decided this after a mid life crises.

Initaly she planned on leaving the house and moving into rented accomidation from the proceeds of the devorce, however since she has been to the solicitors she has said tha she plans on staying in the house because of the children, and appearantly all the equity will stay in the house until the children are 18, which is forteen years away, me I appearanly get nothing??

The main question however is that I would like to have my children at least two nights a week, all there lives I have always spent every week end with them along with puttiong them to bed every night, I can't understand how all the sudden they have gone and that I can only see them as she is saying once a fortnight.

Can I have them for two nights a week or will the courts overide this???

She works 16hrs per week, I can't see how she can stay in the house and not allow me any equity??

Many Thanks

Hi welcome to wiki

Sorry I cant advise you on the best route for you to go as far as the house is concerned. Just wanted to say that as their father, you should not have to beg and hope to see your children. You could try for 50 50 residence if you are able to accommodate that, in those circumstances you would then need accommodation so that you could look after your children, this would be taken into consideration, by perhaps having to sell the property and buy something each which will allow you to both to co-parent.

I am sure that someone will be advise you further on this.

Good luck

zara

I'm afraid that the needs of the children come first. This usually means that they get to stay in the house with their primary carer, who presumably is your wife as she is only working sixteen hours a week. This means that you will have to wait to get your share of the equity until they have grown up, which usually means they have reached the age of eighteen but in some agreements means that they have finished school or left university.

You should negotiate contact with your children if possible, and you can certainly ask for a couple of nights a week, which might well be supported by the court if it gets that far.

Sadie

At this stage the solicitor has probably outlined an option. The courts are not particularly in favour of deferring the sale of the former marital home until the youngest is 18, particularly if that is some distance in the future. However, the priority in sharing assets is the welfare of the children so a good starting point is thinking about how they are to be housed eg if your wife be able to afford mortgage payments, how much mortgage you both can raise individually, if there is sufficient equity in the property to sell and buy two smaller properties.

With contact arrangements there is no one arrangement to suit all circumstances, but typically courts would award 50% of the quality times at weekends and holidays with perhaps a bit more during the week. 50:50 shared residency actually isn't that common. The important thing is the arrangements are practical. When a father works regularly late in the office there is no point on insisting on midweek contact. Likewise, there is no point in a mother insisting on having children at a time when they would need childcare.

When separating people on both sides often fear not having enough to manage, or feel the relationship with their children is threatened, and become defensive and angry. It's worth realising this is a normal reaction and often secondary to the hurt, confusion and uncertainty. Mediation or collaborative law are alternative ways to come to an agreement without involving the courts and minimise the risks of escalating anger and damaging long term family relationships.