hi, my ex and i have been seperated over a year now and i get to see my son for just 2 hours every saturday at a contact centre. im currently do a section 7 report for the courts. my ex wont speak or contact me at all in any way.
i have done 1 moniitored visit of the 3 for the report. the thing is, my ex's grandad died last week and the funeral is today, i saw my son yesterday for the first of the 3 monitored visits at the contact centre for an hour. but my ex wont let me see my son on saturday as she said she has family visiting.
i said to her, this contact is not about your family, its about me seeing my son. i can see him 1 day before the funeral, but i cant see him the day after.(because you have family visiting). my ex still cant get hold of the fact its meant to be my time with my son and not to let me see him becuase she is busy.
i phoned my solicitor and she said she is using her family excuse as a contact blocking.
at the end of the day she is stopping me seeing my son because she is busy. she does it to suit herself and try to annoy me. she is not thinking of my son at all. just herself
but this is contact blocking in its simplest form.

any advice please as im having difficulty dealing with this. my ex has done this now for months and i dont know what way to turn. please help?

Chatsworth,

You are not being harsh. It is obviously hard when a close family member dies but she has to also think about your son in all of this. He may actually benefit being away from a home where everyone is feeling sad and upset at the loss of her Grandad.

I would suggest that maybe you say to her that you accept that now is a hard time for her in the circumstances but you love your son and you need to see him. I would also add that she could also be seen as obstructing the courts and although you accept that maybe Saturday is a bad time, that you need to agree a minimum of 2 more dates in the immediate future in order to push things forward with the court.

I don't know her reasoning for not letting you have contact and maybe you don't either. You don't want to be seen as causing her trouble at a time when she is grieving so offer the alternative but on the other hand you are not prepared to be played with like you don't matter.

I don't know what to say Chatsworth, but please try to stay strong.

Your son has just lost his Great Grandad, with who he lived, if I recall correctly. Maybe your ex should think about how a 2 year old can deal with someone suddenly not being there and that it is important that he knows Daddy is still about.

This is hard for me, as I too wanted my ex to see the children via a contact centre for a period of time, but I would not have witheld that contact from my children.

I hope that you can resolve this situation. It is hard I guess when you feel unable to approach your CAFCASS officer in relation to this situation, maybe they could offer you some advice as to how to deal with such situations.

Best Wishes

xx Sarah xx