Alive_in_the_water wrote:

Go to the nursary, take the birth certificate and your passport, explain the situation to them and make it clear to them that you have a right to see your child
...

Even more to the point, your child has a right to see her father!

I sympathise with your situation, but any nursery worth its salt won't get involved in a contact battle. If there's an instruction written down with the nursery that only the mother can pick the child up, and your name is written down with them saying you've not to see her, then the nursery will abide by this. I hope your situation improves, my ex has never bothered to keep in touch with his kids, but I always make sure I take them 200 miles to see him about 3 times a year. It's not their fault he's a tw*t. Anyway enough about me, keep plugging away and I'm sure it'll all work out in the end, take care.

mizmagoo wrote:
I sympathise with your situation, but any nursery worth its salt won't get involved in a contact battle. If there's an instruction written down with the nursery that only the mother can pick the child up, and your name is written down with them saying you've not to see her, then the nursery will abide by this.

Perhaps I may have this wrong and peeps, you're welcome to shoot me down, but.....

Doesn't joint parental responsibility not mean that either party can collect their child from a nursery. I presume that there is no court order in place to forbid such an action.

As I suggested in the earlier thread, I myself would do what I could to force an obstinate estranged wife back to the negotiating table.

Update 12/10/08

Daughters 4th birthday yesterday (11th). Its been a very hurtful and emotional 24 hours. I dont exist in my daughters life!

Sent card Thursday via recorded post and text yesterday morning but no cummunication returned whatsoever.

Also received letter in the week from MP who sympathises but cannot do anything.

Cafcas still not appointed anyone, yet court case less than 4 weeks away.

My Solicitor sent her and her solicitor a letter asking for supervised contact at a contact centre, as cafcas advised me to do. But as i have said to cafcas she has never replied to any letters since May 2007. Solicitor says she cant do anymore.

We seem to be banging our heads against a brick wall.

How come the court/legal system is so bad? From applying to court after 2 weeks its now took nearly 5 months? and we've still not moved forward.

Micky B

hi micky, so sorry to hear that you had such a painful day - you did all you could, so now all you can concentrate on is how the future can be brighter.
did you get anywhere on amanda/divorcelawyers suggestion about appointing an ISW?
also ask about cafcass attending the next court case - they may be intending to send a representative in a "mediation type" capacity before the hearing (as they did in my case) and i believe that you can ask for this to be part of the process.
on this point - the process you are being forced through, the system that your ex is using for no good reason...it is how it is for many reasons and change in some areas is undoubtably needed. i know that i personally will never trust it to do what is "right" automatically because the judges can only work on points of law, but their individual "take" on the situation can make the difference between what is believed and what is necessary. that experts can only "talk" through cafcass...now cafcass is an area where change is essential, ludicrously, they are the ones with the true power....
with the children act, the whole emphasis is on what is in the childs best interests and nobody doubts that inflicting unecessary hurt on a child is that...emotional abuse takes it's toll but i don't wish to take this thread off on a tangent, so....
keep your resolve and hang on in there, communicate with others in the same situation - families need fathers is a good place, but chat at wiki can be a lifeline.
lou

Update 26/10/08

Still nothing happening. Can't afford a ISW.

Solicitor sent letters to ex solicitors and ex requesting supervised contact at a private contact centre. I offered to pay.

But yet again no response.

No word from Cafcass although case report is to be in by the 7th November. (2 weeks away)

Solicitor sent letters to cafcass complaining that they have not responded to 4 past letters or phone calls and currently have not told the court of any delay?

The only responses I get are off this forum.At least I know who my friends!

But how do you get ex to respond if she justs puts her head in the sand and assumes everything will go away?

Micky B

Hi All,

Still no end to this issue. CAFCASS eventually wrote to me 1 day before the next court date (14th November).

They had been trying to get hold of ex without much luck but eventually got hold of her, who then accused me of sexual abuse of my daughter. Another lie. CAFCASS could'nt do any more because of the allegations. Court adjourned by CAFCASS pending report by the Social Services.

However, some good news.
1) Her youngest son 15 has now left home to live with his dad. Had enough and wont go back.
2) Social Services phoned me today (20th) to say they've seen my d4 and can find no evidence of sexual abuse and that the issues raised were prompted by a bitter mother who was subjecting her daughter to adult issues.Report will be sent to CAFCASS

What are the implications now and whats the next stage?

Micky B