i know that as i claim CTC i can claim up to 80% of childcare costs. I only have school holiday club for another year - have so far not found childminder who will take on when daughter goes to high school so might have to loose childcare then.
My question is this.
There are around 13 weeks school holidays
Both parents have around 5 weeks annual holidays
im the parent with care and have elderly disabled mother and i need to set aside say weeks worth of holidays to deal with matters which arise for her.
so 13 weeks school hols - absent parent does 5 parent with care does 4 and pays for childcare for 4 weeks and poss take unpaid leave in the future if no childcare found.
absent parent high income parent with care low income.
i would like the school holidays to be shared as much as poss as i feel its good quality time to spend with kids.
Why do i keep getting told he cant be forced into this - when im the one who is forced into being a single parent on a low income trying 100% to do right by my child.
Since he left 6 months ago he has had 2 holidays away with pals. At the moment he sees daughter say 6-8 hours a week - no overnight stays as claims he has no where to live - ive offered to move out everyother weekend so he can stay here and look after daughter for a full weekend.
Do you think that i can believe him when he says it will all change when he gets own home (he is saying our house needs to be sold first before he can do that) 2 houses beside us have been on marked for over a year - so we also could be looking at that - my daughter and her dad had a great relationship which i feel is now suffering - i thought he would have jumped at the chance to look after her and school holidays would not have been a problem.
I just cant get my head round the fact that he can make me single parent and land me with the problem of school holidays just with the drop of a hat and expect the state to pay out CTC to fund childcare for 5 weeks when all along he has the leave and could big share of it himself.
Ive not got a choice i either use my full allocation of leave or find childare while he goes of on holiday with pals
If i was the one not allowing much contact he would have me up at court as quick as a flash
CTC is a great thing to people on low income it helps greatly in paying towards childcare costs - but in my case it helps me get childcare to allow me to work - i then have to use what leave i have to cover school holidays - but it allowes a high income parent to do none of the school holidays and keep his annual leave to go on nice holidays with pals. CTC could save money here if there was a way to make him do his share of the childcare.
Just interested in other peoples views as im struggling to get my head round the fact that he cant be made deal with school holidays. Why not? He was the one who walked out leaving me with this proplem so why does he get away with it?

I know there are lots of men who do want to spend more time with their children, but my experience is that its the women who do part-time work to fit in with school hours, and take time off to take the children to doctor, dentist etc.

My ex was the high earner after I had the children, but even in the times he was at home when made redundant it was still me that took the children to school.

I got a job in a school so I get the holidays, but ex has waltzed off to live with new woman. Every other weekend her ex has her children and they (my ex and OW) go away for the weekend. I can't remember the last time I got to go away for a weekend! The other weekends he is usually doing something with HER children. Our sons he pops in to see and wonders why they aren't thrilled to see him.

Tinker,.
I sympathise with you,school holidays even for 2 parent family is a nightmare.This is why I can never understand why some mothers ­object­ to 50/50 care.
Have you tried arranging with her friends parents where you take in turn to do the holiday care if you have moa few children sometimes it might pay to have a student looking after them full time.
he just wants to be a good time dad.He will be the loser.
take care