This looks really complicated. The divorce decree/support order is from 2001, but CSA was never involved. It's never been enforced by any courts, we've always just dealt with it ourselves, but it's becoming more and more challenging, which leads me to believe we should just hire a solicitor and try to deal with it that way. He moved to the states after his divorce was final, but not specifically for work purposes. His maintenance is all child maintenance, not spousal maintenance. When they were setting it up, he agreed to pay 5 pence per year for spousal maintenance and the rest for the children because she wasn't working at the time and had no source of income, and he didn't want to punish her for wanting to move on and remarry, so he didn't want spousal maintenance to affect her choices there. I have 3 children, but we have no children together. She and her new husband have one child together.

So Young Again, are you saying that even if we are able to get the court order changed to alter the amount of maintenance and to put more firm rules around visitation, that they would not be enforceable if she chose to ignore them?

OK. Spouse maintenance ends on remarriage so the nominal order has no longer effect. There is an order for child maintenance predating March 2003 and your husband can apply to court to vary that. As long as he pays what is in the order enforcement isn't an issue.

Contact is treated separately. Most people do appear to stick to court orders. If you think the mother won't distance does tend to complicate matters although there is a charity, Reunite, who might be able to help. Although Reunite specialises in international parental child abduction they offer advice and information on how to ensure your child maintains a positive relationship with both parents.See;

http://www.reunite.org