SR is not perfect. But if you look at the rates of children who have no contact with their father after seperation, it is perhaps the lesser of two evils. A large amount of disengagement is attributable to the fustration of being a bit part in a childs life - which SR avoids.

I'm not convinced SR per se makes that much difference and I've certainly come across a good number of SR cases when children haven't been returned to a parent (Mum or Dad) at the alloted time and then by the time the courts sort it out a new status quo has been established.

Also I think it's important to recognise that problems with contact are rarely one sided with both parents and even the children being implicated.

"1 in 4 non-resident dads say their child’s mother has made contact difficult

1 in 4 mothers whose child has contact with their dad, say his lack of commitment, unreliability or inflexibility has got in the way"

http://www.dad.info/separation/separated-fathers-how-often-do-they-see-their-children/

Going back to the question "How many nights a week will a court give me?" this barrister's post might be of some use;

http://bloodyrelations.blogspot.com/2008/04/equal-parenting-time.html

Great..Thanks Fiona

here is one of the reports as the HTML a
http://64.233.183.104/search?q=cache:LTPdj4yWvpQJ:www.leeds.ac.uk/media/current/Drifting% 2520towards%2520Shared%2520Residence.doc+Drifting+Towards+Shared+Residence&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1

and for those who have word:
http://www.leeds.ac.uk/media/current/Drifting%20towards%20Shared%20Residence.doc

I do agree with Fiona about varying judges. There is undoubtedly a postcode lottery as to what local Court you get.

Its all very variable isnt it?

As i said, I want 50/50 but understand thats very unlikely. I'd settle for 2 nights a week as I think thats still good for my son, and he is the important thing here. With 2 nights he gets to have quality uninterupted time with me, I can bath him, put him to bed, read him a story, do all the things a dad does.

I dont get on badly with my ex and we're reasonably responsive when things come up, we have been known to move days, and times to help each other so we're relatively sensible - but she wont agree to overnight stays and feels its entirely up to her to decide what we can and cant do.

I'm planning to move reasonably close to her once our house is sold (Not on the doorstep, but close enough that theres no problem with schooling and things) and want to be mature and responsible in it all - but i am not prepared to give up on being a good father to my son and ensuring he has a stable ­base­. His mother is a good mum but extremely emotional, and i feel two nights away from that every week is good for him, and will let him see thats not how everyone is. I feel having a male role model is a good thing as well, and knowing his dad loves him to bits and will always be there for him is vital. I'm happy to do the plan mentioned above and ensure his routines are continued and generally be sensible.

The mediation is in two weeks, we'll see if it gets us anywhere! Thanks for all of your comments, its interesting to see the views - I really hope I get the quality time with my son, I think its good for us both.

Have fun!

Chris

Chris.. try to think in terms of "shared parenting" first and then "shared residency".. just a different mind approach

Good luck and you boy is a very lucky boy indeed