Update 14/09/08

Still no contact and coming to 4 months after ex stopped contact.

Phoning CAFCASS to ask where they are but they still havent appointed anyone to the case and would probably not make the court date in November. So now having to pester CAFCASS and solicitor to try and get contact with daughter.

Any ideas how I can get to see my daughter, I do miss her?

hi - this might not help you directly, but wanted to say that women who use their children like this should be strung up.
those of us who have experienced real abuse struggle to keep our children safe and the courts give fathers the benefit of the doubt because of false claims, even with proof to the contrary.
all you can do is to hang on in there, deny the claims, find ANY proof possible of your previously positive relationship with your daughter (like a statement from nursery school indicating no behavioural issues), do not hassle cafcass (although the temptation is so huge)and trust in the fact that they are the only ones deemed expert enough to identify alienation, send letters to your child(friendly and chatty - never dis the ex)and post registered so you can show that you cared enough to try (especially on special occasions like birthdays), insist on a finding of fact hearing (this is done on likely probability of facts, not beyond reasonable doubt as in criminal law), write a diary to yourself but for them, so you can share it in the future when this mess (for which you will never get an appology)is finally seen for what it is.
hard, but stay strong and never be tempted to walk away as abandonment cures nothing.
it can be a long fight, but you can make it, with luck sooner rather than later.
many good wishes - you have friends at wiki!

lou

ladylou well said

Thanks Lou x

I do keep a diary

I do have positive feedback from the nursery before she stopped it. I have loads of photos to confirm the same. I also have proof that she was the abusive one when she attacked me and put me in hospital. I just miss my daughter and have not seen her for 4 months. God knows what she'll be like when I first see her. I keep strong when I have friends, family and contacts like you that say its worth it.
I also have neighbours who have seen me with my daughter and have said they'll testify on my behalf.

It just seems so wrong that she can get away with it. Ive not cheated or attacked her. Its ex who ran of with her cousin. Yet she hates me for just being alive and wants to eradicate me from my daughters life.

Lets hope CAFCASS can see through this, yet I think that their so overworked they may overlook the obvious and go for the quick answer. Will keep hoping for justice

Micky B

Micky ,
not easy at all ,I personally do not like caffcass ,where was the last place you saw your daughter ? Why did she stop your contact ?
Did you have a complaint filed with police ? Put you in hospital?
Bring your evidence to court ,hope they do not dismiss it as sometimes they do. leave whatever preconceptions you have about everyone caffcass family and just focus on getting a plan to see your daughter.
Caffcass are so busy the best paid work is legal guardian they do not rock the boat if it is just reports for court and no PAS allegations and no SS you will get some kind of contact .
They can take her to court if she does not let you have contact .Ask for medical certs if she says she is too ill to attend , if she is not available she is to give you notice if you have to travel along way. What about phone calls do you get phone calls ?

Hi Lyndamac,

Last time i saw my daughter we had a great thursday evening before i took her back to nursery next morning - bright eyed and laughing. Neighbours can confirm because she spent time with their daughters
The police report was filed and i dropped the charges.
I text ex once a week every Sunday asking for contact and ask her to reply and yes phone is still ringing so she does get the message but never any reply.
I live 7 miles away so distance is not an issue.
The only reason I can see she stopped contact was financial. She wanted me to pay nursery fees (£1600) but I knew she got a care allowance of 80% of the fee. However I agreed to pay half if she declared her allowance. She never did. I have also invested all my own equity (110K) in the 5 bedroomed house we shared against her (45k). Although I know i will not get it all back I do expect her to keep to her agreement of a 50/50 split. I now have doubts she even wants to do that. However will leave it in hands of solicitor.
Thanks for your support
Micky B x

Mickyb, I have limited time to come on the forum on a 121 basis ,we all have individual experiences , the only common problem we all share is the contact. I have a high profile case of my own ,however appreciate the same problems that need to be sorted out for children to have a right to see both parents.
I am interested in DV and how the courts then use this factor when dealing with issues of contact.They say : the risk of violence is increased during contact for the mother in most cases it is the man who is violent. The men who have been abused never seem to want to talk about it or press charges.
A lot of DV the courts in our case covered up the amount of violence my ex-partner had a history of. The point I am getting is this solicitors can go into the archives of another divorce proceedings your ex or my ex for eg were DV was sited and bring it up in family court in evidence in another case in the future concerning contact .
The police records are kept these are pulled out too when care proceedings are ongoing. I have now had my revenge on the courts by going LIP , I have shared the confidential information you can go to prison for showing anyone not connected to the case with legal advisors showing just how much risk this child has now been exposed to.
There is now outrage this child C was placed with such a violent man. His ex-partner was called to give evidence of why she cited DV and went to stay in a battered wives hostel. This part I will leave out as you simply could not write it . A lot of your past is brought up in closed court so if the son is violent you can use this to your advantage I take it it is not your son ?