Please help...

My partner and I have drifted apart, we are different people wanting different things. We have been together 3 years and have a 2 year old son. We live in a house I bought for us and have paid all of the bills for the last 2 and a half years. My partner pays half of the childcare bills and like me works full time.

When I first found out she was cheating on me I thought I had forgiven her but we drifted further apart to the point that there is little point residing in the same house. She wanted out and said that I should give her 30K to set herself up, this was money I don't have... she wanted me to sell the house or she would take me to court to obtain the house though the 1989 Children Act.

Can she do this... even though the council would re-house her. I am 100% behind paying CSA payments and we have agreed that I would have my son 4 nights a week + every weekend.

We are not married.

Help please
Tony

Tony,

welcome to wiki. As you are not married, I am pretty sure it is property law that applies in this case - unless you had some sort of agreement on the shares in the house when you bought it. I believe you would have to split the equity 50:50 ... although you may be able to take out what you put in - eg if you put down a deposit on the property.

I am not sure the council would automatically rehouse her in a situation like this .. she may be deemed to have become intentionally homeless.

Is she in a financial position to buy you out? As a single parent she would be able to claim tax credits, help with childcare costs etc.

Also be warned - this could cost you 30k in legal fees if it gets nasty and protracted, so please do what you can to sort it out .. and spend the money on your child, not the courts.

Hadenoughnow

I understand that as my solicitor charges nearly £300 an hour, and I would always favour the money going to my child... She never paid any of the deposit for the house.

But I have just read that if we did go to court and under the 1989 Children Act she could impose a mesher order to live in the house and that she would not be able to throw me out. Can she?

In England & Wales there is no provision whatsoever for the payment of maintenance or capital for a former cohabitant and property is dealt with under the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996. When a property is held in joint names, the law assumes that it is held equally, ie, 50:50, unless there is evidence of an agreement either verbally or in writing that the shares are in some different proportion.  Where one name only is on the deeds the Court may infer a common intention to share the property if the other party contributed directly to the payment of mortgage instalments, or to payments for a substantial improvement to the property. Litigation in this area is complex and alternative dispute resolution is best to avoid legal costs.

Under the CA 1989 the Court can order payment of capital to cover limited past and current capital needs and towards the purchase of a property to house children. A transfer and/or sale of a property to be used to house the children can also be ordered. Any capital may effectively be held on Trust (mesher) for the children until they are aged 18 or 21 when the capital reverts back to the non resident parent.

She never paid any monies towards the cost of the property, the upkeep or refurbishment costs. But what your saying is because we had a child together I may be forced to sell it to pay her the money she wants??? I think im more confused now that before.

I think it may be best if I sit down and speak to another solicitor.

Tony,

What you would need to pay, if anything depends on the individual circumstances of the case but the welfare of your child is important and both parents are responsible for his care and meeting his housing needs.