My son has taken to playing up at night time when he stays with me; he usually ends up saying it is because he is sad about mummy and daddy splitting up.

I am not totally sure if he is being honest with me or just trying to get me to allow him to stay up, its probably somewhere in the middle.

I have taken to talking to him about it, reassuring him and generally just making sure he knows that daddy might have left mummy, but I will never leave him or his sister.

He is only 8 and he has been so very brave, my little soldier, but it breaks my heart to see him crying. It does get easier I think, over time, but for now, it is hard...

You can do no more than encourage your son to talk, its good that he has, giving him support will also make you feel stronger as you think things through in a way that he can understand, children have a habit of simplifying things!

Good luck

GM

It's horrible to be a parent when your child is suffering.
My two boys are 16 and 14. Their dad wasn't around much in the last year before he left. I offered them both counselling, or a chance to talk to me (or counselling online if they didn't want to face/speak to anyone). They declined.

Younger one said when I asked if he missed his Dad "Well, he wasn't around much anyway and all he did was moan" and the older one said recently, when I'd suggested he talk to his Dad about something "Oh, he's only interested in his new family now".

It was painful for me to hear and I told my husband what they'd said. It's made no difference. Since he left in July he's exchanged a few words when he's been round to the house to collect things, taken 16-year old to play football once and younger one to play pool once. He's only 5 minutes' away by car.

I am more angry with him about that than anything he's done to me.

Recently husband said he hoped elder son would continue to play rugby till he was 17 as then he'd be able to play with husband. (To gratify husband's ego of course, he hasn't any idea how angry elder son is with him).

yep, have decided to brave it and try to have another discussion with ex about our son. He will probably say.. well it was you that ended our marriage so its all your fault (his words before), but if he does then I will know he doesn't have our sons best interests at heart and I will give up after that.

the difference between my 2 amazes me. A 9 year old son that is distraught and an 8 year old daughter who talks and talks about everything and seems more adjusted than some of us mums and dads!