To my ex who is in denial about himself - to my boys who now have to deal with his crap instead of me. Maybe one day he will see this - along with the poem in a previous posting. I know it's self indulgent but it may help another Mum out there dealing with the consequences of finishing an abusive relationship and the kids in the middle.


Do You? Can You?

Do you know what a Dad is? Do you think it could be you?
Do you feel their hurt and pain – can you pull them through?
Your chance has come to make it right
Say sorry for those shouts they heard at night.
Say sorry for the hurts, all wound so tight
Do you see what you have to do?

Can you put their feelings first? Are they worth that much to you?
Can your love for them be enough - believe me this is true,
They look to you becoming men
Is angry and hurt what you want for them?
Is being like you what you want for them?
Can you be there just for them? Can their Dad be you?

Night night to my babies - I hope you had a nice evening with Dad - see you after school tomorrow. Love you both very much - you are very brave and make me so proud.

Love Mum x

I'm so sad for you. You are so brave. When my boys get angry they kick me and swear at me because (as my middle one told my father) "dad does it". I know my boys will be fine because they have me. You sound like a fantastic mum and so very strong for your children.

What a moving poem. I think your boys are very lucky to have you. Just want to give you a small word of encouragement. Its is now over a year since I finally said "enough". It has been tough particulary for my little girl- a little mouse! - but I spoke to her teacher and she says she now has massive confidence she never had before and is not afraid to join in class. They do come through it and with your love and encouragement they will be fine. Stay strong X

Wow, yes, what a wonderful thought provoking poem.

My boys come back from visiting their dad with such an attitude; the eldest is argumentative and anti towards me. It takes several days for them to settle down again in the 'relative calm' of our family home.

Stay strong SadEyes; as Iorian said - they do come through it. My boys are thriving and I see their behaviour after a visit as a 'blip' now. Love, understanding and lots of kisses do the trick. We talk, laugh and treat each other with respect, unlike my stbx's behaviour.

I wish you all the very best.
X

Jean M

I read your post with interest. When my kids come back from their dads (every other weekend) my 9 year old is a different boy. Rude, argumentative and general terrible attitude. It has taken a min of overnight to a max to 2 days for him to go back to his normal lovely self.

I hope they don't go on forever, his mixed up emotions/feelings must be so hard for him.

Thank you xxx