All, your help most appreicated on this one. So here goes, I have been separated now for 9 months from my stbx, I have found someone that I am really happy with and enjoying myself - I still have regrets about the marriage but know that things will never work out.

My new partner has meet my children (I have two one of 5 and one of 2) but this has mainly been as "friends." I think that the oldest one knows what is going on and so I want to tell him what is happening.

My stbx has already moved in and introduced her to the man she had the affair with, they seem ok with him and i have no problem with that, I guess one day they will find out what happened with our marriage and then they can make an informed opinion of him. So its not like this will be a complete shock to them

The question is therefore how do I go about it and what do I say, I dont really want to liken it to her relationship or do the story about toys as I used this with the younger one when I explained about mummy and daddy not living together.

Any help greatly appreciated

do your children seem happy in your new girlfriends company, if they are happy then do the introduction to your girlfriend gently, kids know whats going on but the changes are still very hard for them,and they will be confused to an extent, if they are happy then just take your time dont rush things , good luck

Yes they seem happy. Is very difficult to see how they will react but at the end of the day they seem to get on well with her new man so I cant see why it wont be difficult with my partner.

I have taken things really slowly as far as I am concerned so will just continue to talk to them about things its all very difficult for me and something I was never expecting to do in my life.

Hay ho!!

Hi there,
You know children are really not given credit for their ability to adjust and accept situations. They seem to be a lot more perceptive than we think. They are also trusting and loving and very special.
I am sure that your children will be fine with meeting your new girlfriend, in their lovely little minds it might even be exciting for them
Good luck and I hope it all goes well for you.
zara

If your children are happy seeing your new girlfriend at the moment then I expect it will be fine. I wouldn't make a big deal of it, particularly with the younger one. It might even be something that you can slip into the conversation. Or have your girlfriend stay the night next time they come to stay and tell them that she will be in your bed in the morning. At this age they aren't likely to be judgemental or even particularly surprised.

Sadie

Sexy sadie and Zara thank you for that... They do seem to like her and I know that they will understand that is why I think they dont say much to me about him.

Your help greatly appreciated wont make much out of it but will feel better once i have told them