Hi there
If it helps here my stbx had this same issue in that he wanted to pay maintenance directly to his son when he was at Uni . His ex asked courts to review maintenance at this time and the judge agreed to money being paid directly to his son . It was then up to his son to budget and give his mum some "rent" when he was home during hols . Was written into the order at the time and worked well.

"the order says that either party has no more claim on the other."

Neither spouse can claim against the other spouse but there is no clean break from 'child' maintenance. Usually orders under s29 MCA 1973 are made in favour of one parent for the benefit of the student but there is no reason why you can't agree or ask the judge to pay your son directly.

Actually our children have house shared but they keep coming back which is quite common. Apparently the average age for leaving home now in the UK is 24. We both pay maintenance directly to our children and they work but the expense of keeping a home for 3 people rather than one and storing all their stuff isn't insignificant. Also they tend to stock up on food and toiletries from here too.

shinyhappypeople wrote:
Hi there
If it helps here my stbx had this same issue in that he wanted to pay maintenance directly to his son when he was at Uni . His ex asked courts to review maintenance at this time and the judge agreed to money being paid directly to his son . It was then up to his son to budget and give his mum some "rent" when he was home during hols . Was written into the order at the time and worked well.


So am I expected to pay the same level of maintenance that I have been paying for the last 7 year i.e. 15% of my wages?

and if I agree to pay ??? amount directly to him and he is living away, surely the X wife has to pay the same to him as well. If not, why not?

And when does this all end. Lets say thathe wants to do another course, and then another etc. I am expected to carry on paying until he leaves?

I still think this is not justice.

And thanks for all your replies so far.

JOHN

Hi
My stbx did pay the same amount for his son but order said directly to his son. Your ex will still be supporting him when he comes home for holidays etc ( as they do !) , and presumeably ( is that spelt right?) still keep a room for him at "home".
I understand your point about your ex paying from her salary too , but in reality she will be paying anyway , they have 6 months holiday from uni and tend to eat you out of house and home!!

The judge told my stbx that maintenance would just be for 1 degree and it wouldnt go on forever ! Guess that is up to families to try and sort together .

Hope that helps

Thanks but that still does not make sense to me. The X lives with her BF in his house and she has a house that she rents out. So "she" is not keeping a room open for him.

I think that it would be on it way to being fair if I paid whilst he was at uni and it stopped when he was at home with his mother but that is not how it works? I will be expected to pay every month and she will only be incurring costs when he is at home.

I have done my bit. She would not have a house to rent out if I had give in to her demands and let her keep the vast majority of it so it seems that I am going to have to pay for it twice.

Also I have spoken to my son today and he intends on working at least 15-20 hours a week as he is getting a transfer from his job.So with his student grant and that money he is going to be on around £7.5K P.A. which is not far off what my step daughter gets working full time.

I can see why the Fathers for justice lot get the hump!

JOHN

Hi
Does sound unfair to me
Has the court actually agreed that you should continue paying maintenance to your ex for your son? I may be wrong here and am sure someone else will comment , but
if your order says until he finishes secondary education then I would have thought it was up to you and your son to discuss finances now .

To be quite honest, Mr. Luvpants, it is more expensive to keep children at university than at home full time, so you should be paying at least what you have paid to date if you can, in order to support your son. I expect your ex will have to do the same, if she can. In many places students have to pay rent all year to keep their accommodation once they are out of university residences, usually after the first year, so there are costs in both places. If he works 15-20 hours a week while on a full time degree course his studies will suffer, so you should avoid this if possible if you want him to get the best out of his course. You might also want to bear in mind that in almost all cases (the exceptions are mainly rich Oxbridge colleges that can afford to give some handouts to people from less well-off families) there is no such thing as a student grant, only loans.

Sadie