Ok strange one I know but here goes.

Have been separated now for just over nine months and am seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

I have two children who I see for 6 nights out of 14. I am therefore presuming that I am the NRP, although she says that we have joint responsibility. My stbx collects the child benefit and working tax credit (no comment on the amount but it's a lot or was). She moved in with another man shortly after I left the FMH. As can be seen from my previous postings I am looking at purchasing the FMH.

I currently pay £150 per month as child maintenace and have been since Feb (I earn just over £30k pa), have not missed a payment and continue to pay for the mortgage on the FMH, utility bills, etc. for it although I do not live there and neither does she.

When we separated we agreed to split the cost of school clothes, etc. in half and that I would pay for the school meals for our eldest (5 years old). The youngest is currently at nursery and she pays for that (mainly through her WTC) although she works from home on a self employed basis.

My question / problem is this, should I continue to pay for the school meals / clothes etc. Is this not covered under the child maintenance arrangements. For example I have also just agreed to go halves on swimschool lessons for my eldest, although its not much I suppose its the principle behind things, isn't this why i pay the child maintenance?

Your thoughts greatly appreciated

It is more or less shared care i take it your the higher earner , if you can afford to pay for these extras then do it , it is for the benefit of your child if you were still together of course you would pay for your child to do these extra activities without knowing where your wife lives with your kids hard to say wether all the child support is being counted as income towards rent through housing benefit?

I am the higher earner, she doesn't work claims self employed with little income but a large number of working hours for the wtc. She doesn't claim housing benefit and payments not through the CSA. I would normally pay it, but with payments of everything at the moment and the mortgage going up things will be tight for me financially either now or in the non too distant future.

I suppose I just want to know why i pay child maintenance which is very close to the csa and then also pay things like school meals etc. on top. If the payment was to go through the CSA I don't see why I would have to pay for these as well.

Also final question that seems strange I know but who makes the decision on who claims child benefit / WTC, I know she has them for 8 out of 14, but even if I was only to have them for 1 more night it would make it equal and therefore I presume that I would have a case for the share of child benefit / WTC?

Help I am getting very confused love my kids and dont want to lose them (if they judge me later for not helping her out financially - even though she had the affair) want to do things right but equally dont want to be made the fool.

As far as i know only 1 parent can claim the Cb the parent that claims that is deemed the PWC who decides that you know what i have no idea i suppose it would be fairer if the lower earner claimed it.