hi ...ive never expected anything from my parents ..i bought my own cars...(they did help with driving lessons but as b'day n xmas presents) as for the house they helped with that by not spending on a wedding and giving cash toward deposit...the man i married agreed to support me if i stayed at home to look after his kids...hes withdrawn all support now ..so parents are helping where poss to support grandchildren....once a parent always a parent i say...im going without loads of stuff to save for my kids future....its tough very tough..i do loads of crappy jobs to add money to the pot....im a woman i guess thats normal...lol...

I agree with court orders to help with kids till they leave uni. It stops rows and without it I couldn't budget for the kids, I would never know if it would stop without an order. I have to support them till they leave full time education so why the hell should the other parent walk away and help when he fancies.

I know all situations are different but as far as the kids go parents should not just be able to stop paying after a'levels when there is uni to go. As i said before if the family unit was still together it would not be an issue and primary carers need the security of knowing what is going to come in.

Away uni costs inc fees and accom upward of 8k per year, that is without food, travel, going out, car, books etc etc. Funding changed 2 yrs ago and even the poorest kids have to take out loans that have be paid back after, if they have to take these loans out the gvmt are currently charging 5% interest. We cannot even begin to compare it to when we were at uni.

I suppose its because University is a privilege, not a right or en­title­ment - otherwise it would be free. It is a 'want' as opposed to a 'need'. That coupled with the fact that we are talking about adults and not children makes it inconceivable to me that Uni fee payment can be legally forced upon someone.

I know it is tough and seems unfair. A'levels are a priviledge as well, not complusory. But with the way the gvmt has worked uni nowdays it is hard without parental support and with so many people going to uni and it becoming the norm. Unless you want to work in a call centre and not have a career you really need a degree. I would not be able to put mine through without their dad helping which would put my kids at disadvantage, I could chose not to help but what sort of mother would that make me?

That was my point.. It should be a choice for parents and not legal enforcement. Obviously you are a great mother who wants the best for your children. I pay CM for 2 daughters who don't live with me. I will help them through school and Uni. I have to, beause high mtc ex will blow all the money on Gucci,Prada, etc and will not be able to do it.

Hi there
I can understand all points here re support for children at Uni . I think its far better for these youngsters to work out a budget with both their parents and decide what they will need . It is awful for parents to be "taken to court" by their own children over maintenance . The problem I think is that when parents are no longer together they may be unable to discuss this as a family .
From my own experience , I found it worked well for my children to deal directly with their dad over help while they were at uni . This seemed to work well as he didnt feel he was " giving " me money but was helping his children.
I suggest you talk to your daughter about finances , uni and her future plans. She is your daughter for life and this is an ideal time to get more involved in her life , but she does need the security of knowing that you will keep any promises with regards financial help.
Good luck

For me legal enforcement is necessary and it gives me piece of mind to know that I can afford it. Yikes high maintenance! But selfish by the sounds. Could you make an arrangement to pay the fees and she pay (ex) the accomodation? You shouldn't have to pay it all? She will have no option though as if she has high income (as shoes suggest) then your daughter will get no help from uni at all. God to think mine whinges as me for the things he does, little does he realise what he is missing if there are women like that out there!! His loss