This woman is doing my head in!

We agreed, ages ago, that we'd share residency 50:50 and would each claim CB & WFTC for one child. This was due to be arranged as of Monday as she should be moved into her new house by the end of this weekend.

We also more recently agreed on a £10k lump sum with £200 p.m. CM which I work out is about £11k more (over 12 years until youngest is 18 - works out at ~£39k total) than she'd get if we did a straight 50:50 asset split + CSA levels of CM. This £10k (bar a £2k advance I've given her for decorating, flooring & furnishings) is currently sitting in my account waiting for her sol to get a consent order together ready for signing.

Anyway, as she's not going to start work until the school holidays are finished, for the next 5 weeks she'd only get CB & CTC + CM (approx £437 p.m. total). Then she'd start working 16+ hours a week and get her wage + WTC also (I reckon over £1k p.m.). I, in the meantime, would continue working 39 hours and getting all three (£276 after CM paid - which just covers the cost of the £10k lump sum loan ).

Tonight she stayed up (it's my night on the couch!) until I was so knackered (done a full day's work and then been up decorating HER house!) that I had to ask her to go to bed, and then she dropped another bomb - she wants to claim Income Support for the next 5 weeks and CB for both kids during that time, in exchange for a reduction in my CM payment.

However, no matter how hard I try, using the various benefit calculators and even reducing my CM to £0, the figures work out at her getting £547 p.m. and me getting £156 which doesn't even cover the loan repayment!

Despite coming to these agreements amicably (I knew it was going too well!), she's now threatening getting Sol involved in a more thorough financial deal including full house valuation, pension CETV, going through all household items and getting them valued, etc. All of which means more delays, less money in the pot, and - guaranteed - more debt for me (she, of course, is getting legal aid ).

I was knackered and ready to sleep, but now am sitting here working out the relevant benefits, typing this tome, and stewing on her bombshell timing (this is not the first time she's stuffed up my sleep requirements lately), all while she snores in the bed overhead (and YES I can hear her!).

Anybody any thoughts?

I do not wish to be unsympathetic, and it's obvious you're under stress, but I cannot see how I can begin to deal with your queries on the basis of limited information.

The impression that is coming through to me is that you want to negotiate a deal with your wife without the assistance of solicitors ( which I can understand ) but you say your wife's solicitor wants to deal with matters such as the house and a pension, etc. Well, of course he does - so would I, if I were representing your wife. I wouldn't advise her to take a deal that did not deal comprehensively with all your finances. Nor should you want such a deal, because all it means is that your wife can come back for a second bite at the cherry at a later date. And of course there's always the risk that the judge might not approve the consent order.

You say your wife wants to claim income support - but she might have a problem, you two are living together . To get Income Support, you must either not be working at all or work less than 16 hours a week. If you have a partner who lives with you, your partner must work under 24 hours a week. If they work for 24 hours or more, you won’t be able to get Income Support. If your partner is claiming income-­base­d Jobseeker’s Allowance, this will also prevent you getting Income Support.

I may have missed something here, but if your wife goes back to work after the school holidays, that changes your situation fundamentally, does it not ?
For a start, might it affect her en­title­ment to legal aid ?

How are you going to deal with the house ? Are you proposing to sell it and in that case where are you both going to live ? If there is a pension, what is to be done about that ?

If you can put specific questions to me, I will try to be as helpful as I can.

Mike

I'm sorry for the predicament you're in, although funny the way you put things lol you feel in a real bind. I doubt she'll get income support as Mike said, it's a lengthy process applying for income support when you're still living in the same house. After the forms go in, you have to wait for a home visit to evaluate your situation, and lots of questions about sleeping arrangements and so forth, and I'm speakin from experience. I'd just ask her to leave the arrangements as they are, the more you pander to her, the more she'll ask for... give them an inch etc.

I hope everything works out for you.

And now I've just realised that this post is two months old, tut, silly me.