Last week after about 4 months, I met up with my ex.

He kept ignoring us although he had to pay back to my mum.

But suddenly he contacted me and I decided to meet him with mum. The meeting was tearful but thought it was okay. He brought money as well and promised my mum to pay back from now on.

But from next day, he started texting. For example, "I don't know I should send you text, but I feel like we are still married, I am sending one. Just finish work.". Also he dearly loved my rabbit, I sent him pics. Then he told me, or not told but clearly inclined it would be good if we could start

Once again I  find myself blogging sadness and frustration.

Bad day follows bad night follows bad day follows bad night....

This is my 8th week of this - this mood of dread, trepidation, loneliness, sadness, frustration and melancholy.    Yes, melancholy (couldn't find a better word!)  

ughhhhhhh

This started after the summer break. Before the break, I was so happy, I was glowing. At least once a day someone would comment how I have reclaimed myself as the vibrant person I used to be. A song made me elated. A nice sentiment made me giddy. Was that a symptom of disguised depression?

Within a few

i have a small dilema. my next door neighbour and fab friend joined a dating agency for me and ive been chatting online to a local bloke for a while. he wants to meet up for a pub lunch but i dont know if im ready for that yet. i know im over my x, i know i would like to start dating  again, but i hink im still carrying round too much baggage. I lost my mum this year, and i cant honestly say i would be going out with anyone for any reason other than revenge. but if i dont start going out with blokes how will i know im ready